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DISCID=
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LANG=EN
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}
{T 00:00:21:84
Kin-Dza-Dza!
}
{T 00:00:27:84

}
{T 00:00:28:84
PARTONE
Fansubbed by Newkate & SadGeezer
The SadGeezers Guide to Cult Sci Fi
www.sadgeezer.com
}
{T 00:00:38:32

}
{T 00:00:39:32
See www.imdb.com
search 'Kin Dza Dza'
for full credit listing
}
{T 00:01:55:31

}
{T 00:02:12:00
Hi
}
{T 00:02:13:23

}
{T 00:02:13:32
Hi
}
{T 00:02:15:23

}
{T 00:02:15:72
How was your day?
}
{T 00:02:17:60

}
{T 00:02:17:60
The pipes burst at
Manokhin's building site
}
{T 00:02:20:67

}
{T 00:02:36:00
''Mother, mother, what will we do.
Mother, mother, how will we live. ''
}
{T 00:02:45:91

}
{T 00:02:53:92
How's our A-student?
}
{T 00:02:57:04

}
{T 00:02:57:04
He's out with friends
}
{T 00:02:59:24

}
{T 00:02:59:24
Vovka!
}
{T 00:03:01:24

}
{T 00:03:01:24
I forgot to buy bread,
could you nip out...
}
{T 00:03:03:23

}
{T 00:03:05:76
and buy some noodles?
}
{T 00:03:08:56

}
{T 00:03:22:52
Comrade, that man says
he's an alien, we have
to do something
}
{T 00:03:27:52

}
{T 00:03:27:52
Call the police
}
{T 00:03:29:52

}
{T 00:03:29:52
I will, but he's barefoot,
he'll catch a cold
}
{T 00:03:33:72

}
{T 00:03:37:12
Hello!
}
{T 00:03:38:08

}
{T 00:03:38:08
Hello.
I smell bad, I'm sorry
}
{T 00:03:41:48

}
{T 00:03:41:48
It's cold. I got this
from that metal box
}
{T 00:03:44:60

}
{T 00:03:44:60
Well done
}
{T 00:03:45:52

}
{T 00:03:45:52
Friend!
}
{T 00:03:46:76

}
{T 00:03:46:76
Please tell me your
planet number in tentura,
}
{T 00:03:49:56

}
{T 00:03:49:56
or at least the galaxy
number in the spiral
}
{T 00:03:52:03

}
{T 00:03:52:36
I've got the contacts
mixed up and now
I can't get home
}
{T 00:03:56:40

}
{T 00:03:56:72
We don't know the
number mate, we forgot it
}
{T 00:04:00:44

}
{T 00:04:00:44
Look, let's send this lad
to the information office,
}
{T 00:04:02:44

}
{T 00:04:02:44
and we'll wait for him
together in the bakery, OK?
}
{T 00:04:06:36

}
{T 00:04:06:36
Here,
put this on
}
{T 00:04:08:36

}
{T 00:04:08:36
Thank you.
Listen, friends,
}
{T 00:04:11:92

}
{T 00:04:11:92
there's no need for
an information office...
}
{T 00:04:13:92

}
{T 00:04:13:92
or bakery
}
{T 00:04:15:92

}
{T 00:04:15:92
This is my planet,
}
{T 00:04:17:92

}
{T 00:04:17:92
Uzulum, 247
in tentura,
}
{T 00:04:20:64

}
{T 00:04:20:64
galaxy Beta
in the spiral
}
{T 00:04:23:44

}
{T 00:04:23:44
This is my space-
transportion gadget
}
{T 00:04:27:48

}
{T 00:04:27:48
So, which button
do I press to get home?
}
{T 00:04:31:20

}
{T 00:04:31:20
Because time is relative,
you understand that, right?
}
{T 00:04:34:32

}
{T 00:04:34:32
OK, I have
a proposition
}
{T 00:04:36:32

}
{T 00:04:36:32
We will press a button...
}
{T 00:04:39:28

}
{T 00:04:39:28
and transport
to your place
}
{T 00:04:41:28

}
{T 00:04:41:28
But if the device
doesn't work...
}
{T 00:04:43:28

}
{T 00:04:43:28
you will transport with us
to where we tell you, deal?
}
{T 00:04:48:28

}
{T 00:04:48:28
You can't just press it,
you have to know!
}
{T 00:04:51:72

}
{T 00:04:51:72
Yes we can...
}
{T 00:04:53:84

}
{T 00:05:11:60
What do you see?
}
{T 00:05:14:48

}
{T 00:05:14:48
Sand
}
{T 00:05:15:44

}
{T 00:05:15:76
So the fucking gizmo worked
}
{T 00:05:19:28

}
{T 00:05:21:52
And that jerk with the holes,
was he left behind?
}
{T 00:05:25:67

}
{T 00:05:27:92
Calm down, calm down
}
{T 00:05:30:15

}
{T 00:05:32:40
We have sun,
sand and gravity
}
{T 00:05:37:52

}
{T 00:05:37:52
We are on Earth or...
}
{T 00:05:40:72

}
{T 00:05:40:72
Or?
}
{T 00:05:41:68

}
{T 00:05:41:68
No,
we'll assume we're on Earth,
in some desert
}
{T 00:05:46:16

}
{T 00:05:46:16
Say, Karakum
}
{T 00:05:48:15

}
{T 00:05:48:72
What other deserts
do we have?
}
{T 00:05:51:60

}
{T 00:05:51:60
Gobi, Sahara...
}
{T 00:05:52:88

}
{T 00:05:52:92
I said we have!
}
{T 00:05:54:15

}
{T 00:05:54:24
Kyzylkum
}
{T 00:05:56:16

}
{T 00:05:56:16
No. We'll assume
it's Karakum
}
{T 00:06:02:80

}
{T 00:06:02:80
So, sun is to the West,
Ashabad is there
}
{T 00:06:10:80

}
{T 00:06:10:80
Let's go
}
{T 00:06:12:79

}
{T 00:06:19:12
Come on!
}
{T 00:06:21:35

}
{T 00:06:45:68
Comrade,
what's your name?
}
{T 00:06:50:48

}
{T 00:06:50:48
Vladimir Nickolaevich
}
{T 00:06:53:04

}
{T 00:06:53:04
My name is Gedevan
}
{T 00:06:55:60

}
{T 00:06:55:60
Pleased to meet you
}
{T 00:06:57:59

}
{T 00:07:12:88
You have a bottle in your case
Is it wine?
}
{T 00:07:17:68

}
{T 00:07:17:68
No, vinegar
}
{T 00:07:22:15

}
{T 00:07:23:76
I also have some herbs
}
{T 00:07:27:28

}
{T 00:07:27:28
We're all set then
}
{T 00:07:30:48

}
{T 00:07:33:68
Vladimir Nickolaevich,
do you remember the
number he mentioned
}
{T 00:07:40:08

}
{T 00:07:40:08
the guy who has my sock?
}
{T 00:07:42:08

}
{T 00:07:42:08
No
}
{T 00:07:44:08

}
{T 00:07:44:08
Maybe we're on his planet?
}
{T 00:07:47:76

}
{T 00:07:47:76
Listen, Fiddler...
}
{T 00:07:49:75

}
{T 00:07:50:64
we can guess all we want
but it's bloody pointless
}
{T 00:07:53:52

}
{T 00:07:53:52
We've chosen a direction
and that's where we're heading
}
{T 00:07:56:72

}
{T 00:07:56:72
We just need to get to the water.
Clear?
}
{T 00:08:01:19

}
{T 00:08:04:08
Vladimir Nickolaevich,
I want to change into slippers
}
{T 00:08:08:24

}
{T 00:08:08:24
Well do it!
}
{T 00:08:09:52

}
{T 00:08:09:52
Well stop then!
}
{T 00:08:12:72

}
{T 00:08:19:44
What time is it?
}
{T 00:08:21:68

}
{T 00:08:21:68
Four
}
{T 00:08:22:96

}
{T 00:08:22:96
In the morning?
}
{T 00:08:24:96

}
{T 00:08:24:96
Yes
}
{T 00:08:26:95

}
{T 00:08:31:28
Are you late
somewhere?
}
{T 00:08:33:84

}
{T 00:08:34:48
It's embarrassing
}
{T 00:08:36:40

}
{T 00:08:36:40
I called from the
airport, said I'd be
there in an hour, and...
}
{T 00:08:40:88

}
{T 00:08:40:88
You study music?
}
{T 00:08:42:88

}
{T 00:08:42:88
It's not mine
}
{T 00:08:44:88

}
{T 00:08:44:88
We had a concert
in my hometown,
}
{T 00:08:51:44

}
{T 00:08:51:44
and they forgot to put
the violin on the plane
}
{T 00:08:54:00

}
{T 00:08:54:00
Banquet?
}
{T 00:08:55:60

}
{T 00:08:55:60
Just a dinner
}
{T 00:08:56:88

}
{T 00:08:56:88
Oh.
Are you from Tbilisi?
}
{T 00:09:00:72

}
{T 00:09:00:72
Batumi
}
{T 00:09:01:68

}
{T 00:09:01:68
I thought I'd return
the violin and still catch
the train to my college
}
{T 00:09:06:16

}
{T 00:09:06:16
I study textile
manufacturing
}
{T 00:09:09:04

}
{T 00:09:09:04
Aha
}
{T 00:09:10:32

}
{T 00:09:10:32
I wanted to study
Foreign Politics,
but they said...
}
{T 00:09:16:08

}
{T 00:09:16:40
Quiet!
}
{T 00:09:18:07

}
{T 00:10:15:64
A man
}
{T 00:10:17:44

}
{T 00:10:22:80
Hello
}
{T 00:10:24:32

}
{T 00:10:39:28
It's a capitalist country
}
{T 00:10:41:96

}
{T 00:11:02:32
Do you speak any
foreign languages?
}
{T 00:11:04:40

}
{T 00:11:04:40
English, a little French
}
{T 00:11:07:72

}
{T 00:11:07:72
Tell them we
have no money
}
{T 00:11:09:71

}
{T 00:11:11:60
Tell them!
They want to be paid!
}
{T 00:11:14:28

}
{T 00:11:38:52
Hello!
}
{T 00:11:40:32

}
{T 00:11:40:32
We are our tourists,
we lost our group
}
{T 00:11:43:64

}
{T 00:11:43:64
Please give us a ride
to the nearest city,
}
{T 00:11:46:04

}
{T 00:11:46:04
and we'll find our
way from there
}
{T 00:11:48:04

}
{T 00:11:48:04
Translate
}
{T 00:11:49:00

}
{T 00:11:57:08
Hello
}
{T 00:11:58:28

}
{T 00:12:16:56
Chatl!
}
{T 00:12:19:24

}
{T 00:12:21:04
We have no money
}
{T 00:12:22:52

}
{T 00:12:22:52
We left money, passports
and foreign currency
with our guide
}
{T 00:12:26:44

}
{T 00:12:26:44
We stepped aside
for a moment and got
lost in the sands
}
{T 00:12:32:71

}
{T 00:12:47:08
Here. It's warm
}
{T 00:12:49:47

}
{T 00:12:51:88
Pardon?
}
{T 00:12:53:36

}
{T 00:12:55:16
You want my hat?
}
{T 00:12:57:84

}
{T 00:12:57:84
Here you go
}
{T 00:12:59:83

}
{T 00:13:07:12
It's not mine,
I can't give it away
}
{T 00:13:11:32

}
{T 00:13:15:20
There's nothing in there
}
{T 00:13:18:20

}
{T 00:13:18:20
Open it
}
{T 00:13:19:72

}
{T 00:13:25:40
It's not wine,
it's vinegar
}
{T 00:13:27:79

}
{T 00:13:38:28
Sour, right?
}
{T 00:13:40:08

}
{T 00:13:49:04
So mate, will you
give us a lift?
}
{T 00:13:54:44

}
{T 00:13:54:44
Fiddler, hurry up
}
{T 00:13:56:43

}
{T 00:14:01:00
Just to the nearest city,
we'll be all right there
}
{T 00:14:05:52

}
{T 00:14:08:20
You want my jacket?
}
{T 00:14:10:27

}
{T 00:14:28:84
Glad I didn't give
them the violin
}
{T 00:14:31:23

}
{T 00:14:51:32
Looks like they're sorry
}
{T 00:14:53:68

}
{T 00:15:09:24
Ketse!
}
{T 00:15:13:03

}
{T 00:15:15:36
Ketse what?
}
{T 00:15:16:92

}
{T 00:15:21:00
I think he
wants a match
}
{T 00:15:23:15

}
{T 00:15:23:20
You want a match?
}
{T 00:15:25:16

}
{T 00:15:30:04
Here
}
{T 00:15:32:51

}
{T 00:15:48:12
The whole box?
}
{T 00:15:49:68

}
{T 00:15:51:88
Get us out of here,
and we will koo
}
{T 00:15:55:92

}
{T 00:17:11:68
Not a single letter,
not a single 'made in'
}
{T 00:17:19:00

}
{T 00:17:25:72
Sorry,
I don't understand.
}
{T 00:17:28:52

}
{T 00:17:43:20
What do they want?
}
{T 00:17:45:67

}
{T 00:17:46:32
They want koo
}
{T 00:17:48:47

}
{T 00:18:03:76
Tsak!
}
{T 00:18:05:96

}
{T 00:18:06:28
Thank you
}
{T 00:18:08:43

}
{T 00:18:14:36
He wants me
to put on a bell
}
{T 00:18:17:48

}
{T 00:18:19:36
He'll have
to do without
}
{T 00:18:21:24

}
{T 00:18:25:60
I'll put it on.
It's too awkward
}
{T 00:18:28:72

}
{T 00:18:29:96
Go ahead
}
{T 00:18:32:76

}
{T 00:18:59:92
Oh, all right
}
{T 00:19:03:31

}
{T 00:20:38:76
I'll just have a cigarette
}
{T 00:20:40:35

}
{T 00:20:43:00
Ketse!
}
{T 00:20:43:80

}
{T 00:20:43:80
Calm down, calm down!
}
{T 00:20:45:79

}
{T 00:21:36:08
Vladimir Nickolaevich,
maybe we're really on...
}
{T 00:21:39:76

}
{T 00:21:41:88
Yeah right, they're
typical Martians
}
{T 00:21:44:00

}
{T 00:22:07:12
Lucy dear, you silly bitch.
You just hadto have those
noodles didn't you?
}
{T 00:22:12:91

}
{T 00:22:21:44
So. You speak Russian
Why did you hide it?
}
{T 00:22:28:84

}
{T 00:22:29:40
We didn't
}
{T 00:22:30:84

}
{T 00:22:32:84
It's hard to penetrate
your language when your
thoughts are bilingual
}
{T 00:22:36:56

}
{T 00:22:36:56
And this Patsak always
thinks in languages
he hardly knows!
}
{T 00:22:40:79

}
{T 00:22:41:08
What are you looking at,
mimuna verishvilli?
}
{T 00:22:44:23

}
{T 00:22:45:04
They speak Georgian, too!
}
{T 00:22:46:88

}
{T 00:22:46:88
What did he say?
}
{T 00:22:47:68

}
{T 00:22:48:24
Ape son of a donkey
}
{T 00:22:50:08

}
{T 00:22:50:08
All right!
}
{T 00:22:52:08

}
{T 00:22:52:08
We are from the Soviet Union,
here on a cultural exchange
}
{T 00:22:55:40

}
{T 00:22:55:40
Everybody knows
where we are
}
{T 00:22:57:40

}
{T 00:22:57:40
If you don't put us in
touch with the embassy...
}
{T 00:23:00:96

}
{T 00:23:00:96
you'll be in big trouble,
got it?
}
{T 00:23:04:40

}
{T 00:23:08:92
We don't understand embassy
Put the tsak back!
}
{T 00:23:12:63

}
{T 00:23:12:88
You understand 'Noodles'
and you understand 'mimuna',
}
{T 00:23:17:68

}
{T 00:23:17:68
yet you don't know 'embassy'?
You poor things
}
{T 00:23:21:64

}
{T 00:23:21:64
Quit messing with us!
}
{T 00:23:24:32

}
{T 00:23:25:12
You thought about noodles,
I simply said it
}
{T 00:23:29:08

}
{T 00:23:29:08
It's not Earth,
and it's not Africa mate
}
{T 00:23:32:52

}
{T 00:23:33:60
It's planet Pluk, 215 in tentura,
in the galaxy Kin-Dza-Dza in the spiral
}
{T 00:23:41:28

}
{T 00:23:41:28
Got it?
}
{T 00:23:42:87

}
{T 00:23:45:80
Well hello, here we are
}
{T 00:23:48:44

}
{T 00:23:51:36
Put the bell on mate
}
{T 00:23:53:48

}
{T 00:24:00:40
Well done
}
{T 00:24:03:84

}
{T 00:24:33:04
Excuse me,
where are we?
}
{T 00:24:34:52

}
{T 00:24:34:52
Hush! He has
very sharp ears
}
{T 00:24:37:56

}
{T 00:24:37:56
Do you know the tentura
of your planet?
}
{T 00:24:39:56

}
{T 00:24:39:56
Tentura?
}
{T 00:24:41:16

}
{T 00:24:41:16
Well, tell us your
Galaxy number in the spiral
}
{T 00:24:44:76

}
{T 00:24:44:76
In the spiral?
Yes, in the spiral, in the spiral
}
{T 00:24:46:88

}
{T 00:24:46:92
Well, Earth is... next to
planets like Venus,
Saturn, Jupiter...
}
{T 00:24:54:40

}
{T 00:24:54:40
Vladimir Nickolaevich,
what else?
}
{T 00:24:57:12

}
{T 00:24:57:12
Ursa Major
}
{T 00:24:58:92

}
{T 00:24:58:92
Vladimir Nickolaevich,
come here
}
{T 00:25:00:91

}
{T 00:25:06:72
Do you have more matches
on your planet?
}
{T 00:25:10:36

}
{T 00:25:10:36
I can get some
}
{T 00:25:11:56

}
{T 00:25:11:56
How many will you give us
if we put you there?
}
{T 00:25:14:84

}
{T 00:25:15:76
How many do you want?
}
{T 00:25:16:83

}
{T 00:25:17:56
Two boxes like that!
}
{T 00:25:19:96

}
{T 00:25:19:96
Seven!
}
{T 00:25:21:48

}
{T 00:25:23:00
And give me this box now,
I'll buy a gravitsapa
}
{T 00:25:27:80

}
{T 00:25:27:80
Excuse me,
what is a gravitsapa?
}
{T 00:25:29:79

}
{T 00:25:30:20
Without it pepelats
can only fly like this...
}
{T 00:25:34:72

}
{T 00:25:34:72
but with it - to any place
in the universe in 5 seconds
}
{T 00:25:40:76

}
{T 00:25:40:76
Gentlemen, you don't even
take a pepelats out of the
garage without a gravitsapa?
}
{T 00:25:46:76

}
{T 00:25:46:76
We had a gravitsapa,
but when we came here,
it got pinched
}
{T 00:25:50:36

}
{T 00:25:50:36
Excuse me, do you have a
space-transporting gadget?
}
{T 00:25:52:48

}
{T 00:25:53:08
No
}
{T 00:25:53:91

}
{T 00:25:54:00
Give me the matches
}
{T 00:25:55:80

}
{T 00:25:56:08
Give us some water
}
{T 00:25:57:80

}
{T 00:26:20:48
Like this!
Like this!
}
{T 00:26:24:36

}
{T 00:26:25:88
This is yours;
this is how you smoke now
}
{T 00:26:29:80

}
{T 00:26:29:80
Thank you
}
{T 00:26:30:68

}
{T 00:26:35:80
He said he has
a gravitsapa
}
{T 00:26:37:92

}
{T 00:26:39:12
Put your matches here
}
{T 00:26:40:92

}
{T 00:26:41:24
No.
When you put us on Earth,
you'll get this and this
}
{T 00:26:45:76

}
{T 00:26:46:04
What?
}
{T 00:26:46:64

}
{T 00:26:46:64
Let's go, Fiddler,
to Outer Space
}
{T 00:26:49:63

}
{T 00:26:50:88
Stop!
Give it!
}
{T 00:26:54:48

}
{T 00:26:57:80
Only on mother Earth
}
{T 00:26:59:87

}
{T 00:27:00:20
Vladimir Nickolaevich,
you said if we get you to the
city, you'd give us all of it!
}
{T 00:27:05:60

}
{T 00:27:05:60
And you already stole
one match from us!
}
{T 00:27:07:60

}
{T 00:27:07:60
Patsaks do not
cheat on Patsaks,
it's wrong, mate
}
{T 00:27:11:04

}
{T 00:27:11:04
I said - to the city!
}
{T 00:27:13:04

}
{T 00:27:13:04
And what is this?
}
{T 00:27:14:32

}
{T 00:27:14:32
A barn
}
{T 00:27:15:23

}
{T 00:27:18:24
And this?
And this?
How is it's not a city?
}
{T 00:27:23:36

}
{T 00:27:23:36
Stop messing around
}
{T 00:27:25:35

}
{T 00:27:26:68
Let's see that gravitsapa.
If it's a major brand
- we'll take it
}
{T 00:27:31:47

}
{T 00:27:31:80
Patsak!
}
{T 00:27:33:48

}
{T 00:27:33:48
No one will touch
smuggled ketse
in front of witnesses,
}
{T 00:27:39:00

}
{T 00:27:39:00
you can get etsih for life
with nails for it!
}
{T 00:27:41:72

}
{T 00:27:41:72
What do you have in your head,
brains or kyoo?
}
{T 00:27:43:71

}
{T 00:27:46:52
We'll buy it ourselves.
Let's go
}
{T 00:27:49:24

}
{T 00:27:50:44
Stop!
}
{T 00:27:54:07

}
{T 00:27:59:16
Who are you?
}
{T 00:28:00:68

}
{T 00:28:06:72
Alien,
construction site foreman
}
{T 00:28:08:20

}
{T 00:28:08:20
No,
you are Patsak
}
{T 00:28:10:20

}
{T 00:28:10:20
And who are you?
}
{T 00:28:11:20

}
{T 00:28:11:20
I'm Georgian
}
{T 00:28:12:44

}
{T 00:28:12:44
No,
you're also Patsak
}
{T 00:28:15:44

}
{T 00:28:15:44
You, you and him
are Patsaks
}
{T 00:28:18:44

}
{T 00:28:18:44
And I'm Chatlan,
and they are Chatlans,
}
{T 00:28:21:76

}
{T 00:28:21:76
so put on the tsak
and stay in the pepelats,
got it?
}
{T 00:28:25:68

}
{T 00:28:25:68
What?
}
{T 00:28:26:88

}
{T 00:28:27:48
Look at me through
the scanner, mate
}
{T 00:28:29:56

}
{T 00:28:29:56
See,
it's a green colour
}
{T 00:28:34:40

}
{T 00:28:34:40
Same for him and you
}
{T 00:28:40:11

}
{T 00:28:40:72
Now look at Uef,
orange colour
}
{T 00:28:45:24

}
{T 00:28:45:24
That's because
he is Chatlan.
All clear?
}
{T 00:28:50:04

}
{T 00:28:50:04
What?
}
{T 00:28:50:64

}
{T 00:28:50:64
Pluk is a Chatlan planet
}
{T 00:28:52:64

}
{T 00:28:52:64
So, we Patsaks,
have to wear tsaks
}
{T 00:28:55:76

}
{T 00:28:55:76
And in front of us Chatlans,
you have to do this!
}
{T 00:29:01:16

}
{T 00:29:01:76
Vladimir Nickolaevich,
this is overtly racist
}
{T 00:29:05:08

}
{T 00:29:05:08
Show us again please
}
{T 00:29:07:07

}
{T 00:29:07:80
Like this!
}
{T 00:29:09:08

}
{T 00:29:09:08
Slower, please
}
{T 00:29:10:52

}
{T 00:29:10:80
Like this
}
{T 00:29:12:52

}
{T 00:29:14:12
Look, you have a wife,
a son struggling
for a C average,
}
{T 00:29:19:52

}
{T 00:29:19:52
and you are behind
on your mortgage
}
{T 00:29:23:16

}
{T 00:29:23:16
You don't want to
mess with us, mate
}
{T 00:29:28:87

}
{T 00:29:34:68
OK, Fiddler,
we'll play their game
}
{T 00:29:37:44

}
{T 00:29:37:44
Well done.
Give a match to Uef,
he'll buy a gravitsapa
}
{T 00:29:42:40

}
{T 00:29:42:40
He said he needed
them all
}
{T 00:29:44:40

}
{T 00:29:44:40
I was joking
}
{T 00:29:46:40

}
{T 00:29:46:40
Gentlemen,
you are so funny!
}
{T 00:29:48:39

}
{T 00:29:50:44
Wait!
We'll go together
}
{T 00:29:54:48

}
{T 00:29:58:80
Don't show them
any of your ketse,
and don't think about them,
}
{T 00:30:02:20

}
{T 00:30:02:20
just show them mine
}
{T 00:30:04:20

}
{T 00:30:04:20
And don't give them
more than half a match
}
{T 00:30:06:84

}
{T 00:30:08:68
Your Patsak said
it costs a whole match
}
{T 00:30:12:07

}
{T 00:30:12:68
He was joking too
}
{T 00:30:14:88

}
{T 00:30:30:92
Concrete mark 300
}
{T 00:30:33:39

}
{T 00:30:36:52
Patsak! Remember,
half or less
}
{T 00:30:40:52

}
{T 00:30:40:52
OK
}
{T 00:30:41:76

}
{T 00:30:41:76
Excuse me,
are Chatlans and Patsaks
different races?
}
{T 00:30:44:52

}
{T 00:30:44:52
No
}
{T 00:30:46:52

}
{T 00:30:46:52
Biologically different?
}
{T 00:30:48:24

}
{T 00:30:48:24
No
}
{T 00:30:49:16

}
{T 00:30:49:16
People from
different planets?
}
{T 00:30:51:16

}
{T 00:30:51:16
No
}
{T 00:30:51:96

}
{T 00:30:51:96
So how are
they different?
}
{T 00:30:54:44

}
{T 00:30:54:44
Are you colour-blind, Fiddler?
Can't you tell green from orange?
Tourist!
}
{T 00:31:00:31

}
{T 00:31:09:56
Hey!
It's a skyscraper!
}
{T 00:31:11:71

}
{T 00:31:12:36
Go, go
}
{T 00:31:15:75

}
{T 00:31:26:88
Do as I taught you
}
{T 00:31:29:96

}
{T 00:31:29:96
Hi missy.
Aren't you cold
in this coat?
}
{T 00:31:35:83

}
{T 00:31:45:44
They won't let me in,
they want you alone
}
{T 00:31:49:44

}
{T 00:31:49:44
Don't give them the ketse,
bring the gravitsapa here,
I'll check it
}
{T 00:31:53:75

}
{T 00:31:54:72
Go!
}
{T 00:31:56:87

}
{T 00:31:59:96
No
}
{T 00:32:01:80

}
{T 00:32:01:80
We're together
}
{T 00:32:03:80

}
{T 00:32:03:80
Vladimir Nickolaevich,
tell him!
}
{T 00:32:05:80

}
{T 00:32:05:80
Wait here
}
{T 00:32:10:48

}
{T 00:32:16:96
Don't go anywhere
}
{T 00:32:20:67

}
{T 00:32:38:60
Hi!
}
{T 00:32:40:75

}
{T 00:32:43:84
What's up?
}
{T 00:32:46:31

}
{T 00:32:49:12
You want me
to squat?
}
{T 00:32:51:28

}
{T 00:32:51:28
Well, out of respect
for the ladies
}
{T 00:32:57:15

}
{T 00:32:59:00
So what's
new on Pluk?
}
{T 00:33:00:83

}
{T 00:33:01:80
Put ketse here and
you'll get a gravitsapa
}
{T 00:33:06:11

}
{T 00:33:16:64
A half
}
{T 00:33:18:47

}
{T 00:33:20:04
Half it is
}
{T 00:33:21:56

}
{T 00:33:22:80
Can I take a look?
}
{T 00:33:24:96

}
{T 00:33:24:96
Sure
}
{T 00:33:26:95

}
{T 00:33:38:28
I'm not an expert
}
{T 00:33:41:84

}
{T 00:33:41:84
We'll show it to my
Chatlan, he'll check it
}
{T 00:33:46:28

}
{T 00:33:46:28
Just a moment while
we install the tsapa
}
{T 00:33:50:32

}
{T 00:34:07:00
Sore throat?
}
{T 00:34:08:88

}
{T 00:34:14:12
It's water
}
{T 00:34:15:36

}
{T 00:34:15:36
I have a proposition
}
{T 00:34:17:35

}
{T 00:34:17:84
I'll give you the rest
of this ketse for
two bottles of water
}
{T 00:34:24:00

}
{T 00:34:24:64
Ok
}
{T 00:34:25:87

}
{T 00:34:37:40
Do you have food?
}
{T 00:34:38:68

}
{T 00:34:38:68
Cereals
}
{T 00:34:40:68

}
{T 00:34:40:68
What kind?
}
{T 00:34:42:67

}
{T 00:34:44:12
Plastic
}
{T 00:34:46:35

}
{T 00:34:52:48
I'll give you this whole ketse
for five bottles of water
and a kilo of cereals
}
{T 00:35:03:68

}
{T 00:35:07:20
What's this?
}
{T 00:35:07:84

}
{T 00:35:07:88
Ketse
}
{T 00:35:09:84

}
{T 00:35:10:40
We have to
check it again
}
{T 00:35:12:36

}
{T 00:35:12:36
Check
}
{T 00:35:13:64

}
{T 00:35:31:56
Hey,
just a moment!
}
{T 00:35:35:44

}
{T 00:35:36:08
Be right back
}
{T 00:35:37:44

}
{T 00:36:05:24
Fiddler, can you get
matches on Earth?
}
{T 00:36:09:39

}
{T 00:36:11:64
Yes
}
{T 00:36:12:60

}
{T 00:36:16:44
If you can spit
further than me,
I'll give you half a chatl
}
{T 00:36:21:56

}
{T 00:36:23:20
If I can spit further,
you'll give me
two matches
}
{T 00:36:29:28

}
{T 00:36:36:64
Understood?
}
{T 00:36:37:92

}
{T 00:36:37:92
No
}
{T 00:36:38:56

}
{T 00:36:38:56
It's a simple game.
I bet half a chatl,
you bet 3 matches. Spit
}
{T 00:36:45:32

}
{T 00:36:45:64
No, thank you
}
{T 00:36:47:31

}
{T 00:36:48:52
OK, you bet one match,
I bet three chatls,
yellow pants
}
{T 00:36:53:64

}
{T 00:36:53:64
and I'll give you
a head-start like this.
Come on!
}
{T 00:36:56:84

}
{T 00:36:56:84
No
}
{T 00:36:57:48

}
{T 00:36:58:12
Blue pants!
}
{T 00:36:59:48

}
{T 00:36:59:48
Mr Uef,
under no circumstances
will I do this
}
{T 00:37:01:47

}
{T 00:37:02:60
Is this your
final word?
}
{T 00:37:03:48

}
{T 00:37:04:52
Then why are you
messing with me,
mimuna verishvilli!
}
{T 00:37:11:28

}
{T 00:37:13:84
Mr Uef! I represent a
civilised planet and demand
you to watch your lexicon!
}
{T 00:37:19:92

}
{T 00:37:19:92
Yeah!
}
{T 00:37:21:91

}
{T 00:37:48:12
Where are they?
}
{T 00:37:49:40

}
{T 00:37:50:04
Who?
}
{T 00:37:51:40

}
{T 00:37:51:40
That one,
with a scar
}
{T 00:37:53:40

}
{T 00:37:53:40
I'm such a moron,
I gave him all the matches
}
{T 00:37:55:39

}
{T 00:39:05:68
Gentlemen,
that's enough
}
{T 00:39:07:96

}
{T 00:39:09:24
Enough?
Enough?
}
{T 00:39:11:16

}
{T 00:39:11:16
I told him we should
go to the Centre
}
{T 00:39:14:68

}
{T 00:39:14:68
But he's greedy like
all Chatlans, he decided
to save 2 chatls!
}
{T 00:39:21:32

}
{T 00:39:21:84
I have another one
}
{T 00:39:23:64

}
{T 00:39:28:12
Enough to buy
a gravitsapa, right?
}
{T 00:39:30:72

}
{T 00:39:31:40
Give it to me
}
{T 00:39:33:80

}
{T 00:39:33:80
Why?
}
{T 00:39:34:71

}
{T 00:39:35:32
To buy a gravitsapa
}
{T 00:39:36:72

}
{T 00:39:38:88
Where?
}
{T 00:39:39:79

}
{T 00:39:40:40
There,
in the Centre
}
{T 00:39:41:80

}
{T 00:39:43:08
How will you get
us to Mother Earth
}
{T 00:39:46:40

}
{T 00:39:46:40
if you don't even know
which galaxy it's in?
}
{T 00:39:50:88

}
{T 00:39:50:88
You moron, we can get
your planet number
}
{T 00:39:52:68

}
{T 00:39:52:68
from any planetarium
in the Centre for 2 chatls!
}
{T 00:39:56:23

}
{T 00:39:56:84
Give me the match
}
{T 00:39:59:56

}
{T 00:39:59:84
So you can bury
us in the sand?
}
{T 00:40:01:56

}
{T 00:40:01:96
Will you give it to me?
}
{T 00:40:03:56

}
{T 00:40:03:56
No
}
{T 00:40:04:04

}
{T 00:40:04:64
Is this you final word?
}
{T 00:40:06:04

}
{T 00:40:07:32
Couldn't be more final
}
{T 00:40:09:12

}
{T 00:40:14:20
Farewell then, mate
}
{T 00:40:16:92

}
{T 00:40:22:60
Vladimir Nickolaevich,
they'll fly off
}
{T 00:40:25:00

}
{T 00:40:25:00
No way, they'd
rather die than
leave the match
}
{T 00:40:28:60

}
{T 00:40:36:96
Either you give us
the match now,
}
{T 00:40:39:96

}
{T 00:40:39:96
or we won't put
you on Earth for
less than 7 boxes!
}
{T 00:40:45:36

}
{T 00:41:10:20
Yes you can, mate
}
{T 00:41:12:19

}
{T 00:41:12:88
Mr. Bee,
}
{T 00:41:14:40

}
{T 00:41:17:68
I have 50 roubles
}
{T 00:41:20:36

}
{T 00:41:21:28
Matches cost
2 kopeks per box,
}
{T 00:41:23:64

}
{T 00:41:23:96
so I can buy 2500
}
{T 00:41:27:24

}
{T 00:41:27:56
Fiddler's fibbing!
He has more chatls
}
{T 00:41:30:84

}
{T 00:41:35:64
Mr Uef! Don't call me Fiddler,
my name is Gedevan Alexandrovich
}
{T 00:41:41:32

}
{T 00:41:50:00
Is the engine there?
}
{T 00:41:51:48

}
{T 00:41:51:80
Quit poking around,
Gedevan Alexandrovich
}
{T 00:41:56:27

}
{T 00:41:59:56
Gedevan, let's
tie them up and plot a
course to the North
}
{T 00:42:04:96

}
{T 00:42:06:16
What for?
}
{T 00:42:07:36

}
{T 00:42:07:96
Maybe the
Mediterranean Sea is there
}
{T 00:42:10:64

}
{T 00:42:13:04
Vladimir Nickolaevich,
are you nuts, mate?
}
{T 00:42:15:16

}
{T 00:42:15:16
Pluk has no seas
}
{T 00:42:17:16

}
{T 00:42:17:16
They have been made
into luts long ago
}
{T 00:42:21:12

}
{T 00:42:21:72
Excuse me,
into what?
}
{T 00:42:24:44

}
{T 00:42:25:60
Into fuel, Fiddler
}
{T 00:42:27:99

}
{T 00:42:31:00
You owe us
6140 boxes
}
{T 00:42:32:80

}
{T 00:42:32:80
Why so much?
}
{T 00:42:34:60

}
{T 00:42:35:20
You ate cereals,
you drink water,
plus the widget
}
{T 00:42:38:80

}
{T 00:42:40:60
Cross that out, we are
not buying the widget.
Put it back
}
{T 00:42:43:56

}
{T 00:42:53:44
We need to bring back
a sample of technology,
or no-one will beleive us
}
{T 00:42:58:56

}
{T 00:42:58:84
If you want the
widget so much,
give them the violin
}
{T 00:43:02:72

}
{T 00:43:04:24
It's an Italian
antique worth more
than 1000 roubles,
}
{T 00:43:09:32

}
{T 00:43:09:32
how would I ever
pay it back?
}
{T 00:43:12:00

}
{T 00:43:15:00
Fiddler, instead of thinking
that you are the first
Georgian astronaut
}
{T 00:43:20:40

}
{T 00:43:20:40
and that you'd
get a Nobel prize,
}
{T 00:43:23:68

}
{T 00:43:23:68
give back the
spoon you stole
from us poor artists
}
{T 00:43:27:88

}
{T 00:43:29:96
I wasn't thinking
any of that
}
{T 00:43:32:68

}
{T 00:43:38:36
I wanted to donate it to science,
maybe it's some new metal
}
{T 00:43:42:83

}
{T 00:43:44:32
There's never been a Patsak
as pathetic as you, Fiddler
}
{T 00:43:50:92

}
{T 00:43:51:24
I'm devastated
}
{T 00:43:54:20

}
{T 00:43:59:60
Where are you going?
}
{T 00:44:00:51

}
{T 00:44:00:80
To the toilet
}
{T 00:44:02:00

}
{T 00:44:02:28
You can't take
money to the toilet
}
{T 00:44:04:00

}
{T 00:44:04:00
Leave money here,
Gedevan Alexandrovich
}
{T 00:44:09:47

}
{T 00:44:45:36
Ketse is very
expensive, mate
}
{T 00:44:47:20

}
{T 00:44:47:20
Why?
}
{T 00:44:48:40

}
{T 00:44:49:64
Well how, on Earth
do you determine
}
{T 00:44:52:36

}
{T 00:44:52:36
how many times who
has to squat in
front of whom?
}
{T 00:44:54:35

}
{T 00:44:55:44
We just play it by the ear
}
{T 00:44:57:24

}
{T 00:44:58:80
Barbarians!
}
{T 00:45:00:00

}
{T 00:45:01:24
Look,
}
{T 00:45:01:99

}
{T 00:45:02:76
I like you,
so I'll teach you
}
{T 00:45:05:52

}
{T 00:45:06:12
If I have
some ketse,
}
{T 00:45:08:84

}
{T 00:45:08:84
I have a right to
wear yellow pants
}
{T 00:45:11:60

}
{T 00:45:12:20
Also Patsaks have to
squat in front of me
not once, but twice
}
{T 00:45:17:12

}
{T 00:45:17:72
If I have a
lot of ketse
}
{T 00:45:20:76

}
{T 00:45:21:08
I have the right to
wear purple pants
}
{T 00:45:25:95

}
{T 00:45:26:28
and Patsaks have to
squat in front of me twice!
}
{T 00:45:30:84

}
{T 00:45:30:84
and Chatlans
have to koo
}
{T 00:45:34:52

}
{T 00:45:34:52
and etselops can't
beat me up at night,
never!
}
{T 00:45:41:23

}
{T 00:45:41:84
I have a
proposition, mate
}
{T 00:45:44:56

}
{T 00:45:44:88
You give us
the match now
}
{T 00:45:47:64

}
{T 00:45:47:64
and later we will bring
you yellow pants, deal?
}
{T 00:45:51:60

}
{T 00:45:52:52
Thanks, I already have a pair,
maybe Fiddler needs some?
}
{T 00:45:54:64

}
{T 00:45:54:96
Hey Fiddler, aliens are
peddling yellow pants here,
}
{T 00:46:00:43

}
{T 00:46:00:76
do you need any?
}
{T 00:46:02:28

}
{T 00:46:04:12
There is no Fiddler, mate
}
{T 00:46:05:64

}
{T 00:46:05:64
What?
}
{T 00:46:06:24

}
{T 00:46:06:24
I've catapulted him
}
{T 00:46:07:80

}
{T 00:46:07:80
It's all right,
Vladimir Nickolaevich,
}
{T 00:46:09:80

}
{T 00:46:09:80
we have another catapult
}
{T 00:46:11:80

}
{T 00:46:11:80
That one was
broken anyway
}
{T 00:46:13:79

}
{T 00:46:14:20
I don't get it
}
{T 00:46:15:80

}
{T 00:46:15:80
I've pressed the
kappa and he flew away
}
{T 00:46:19:68

}
{T 00:46:20:00
Fiddler isn't needed, mate,
he was a waste of fuel
}
{T 00:46:24:28

}
{T 00:46:35:28
Turn back
}
{T 00:46:36:80

}
{T 00:46:38:00
We can't
}
{T 00:46:38:80

}
{T 00:46:39:24
We're out of luts,
we have to fly to
the luts station
}
{T 00:46:41:68

}
{T 00:46:42:88
Turn back or
I'll burn this fucking ketse!
}
{T 00:46:45:95

}
{T 00:46:49:00
Gedevan!
}
{T 00:46:51:12

}
{T 00:46:55:72
Fiddler!
}
{T 00:46:57:55

}
{T 00:47:15:88
Where could
he have gone?
}
{T 00:47:17:40

}
{T 00:47:17:40
I told you,
the etselops caught him
}
{T 00:47:20:76

}
{T 00:47:21:68
Let's go, mate
}
{T 00:47:22:88

}
{T 00:47:23:20
You've really
done it now!
}
{T 00:47:24:87

}
{T 00:47:29:28
Call the etselops
on the radio
}
{T 00:47:31:43

}
{T 00:47:32:64
We have no radio,
we threw it away
}
{T 00:47:34:79

}
{T 00:47:35:12
I'll check!
}
{T 00:47:36:92

}
{T 00:47:36:92
Etselop!
}
{T 00:47:37:83

}
{T 00:47:47:92
Put the tsak on, now!
}
{T 00:47:50:07

}
{T 00:47:53:40
He'll have to
do without
}
{T 00:47:55:55

}
{T 00:48:07:48
Put it on or he'll
trangluke you...
and the match
}
{T 00:48:11:71

}
{T 00:49:06:08
Hello
}
{T 00:49:07:60

}
{T 00:49:08:20
Listen, friend,
we lost our lad
around here,
}
{T 00:49:10:36

}
{T 00:49:10:36
did you see him?
}
{T 00:49:11:88

}
{T 00:49:14:00
What?
}
{T 00:49:15:56

}
{T 00:49:28:08
Sorry, I forgot
}
{T 00:49:30:39

}
{T 00:49:30:72
So did you
pick him up?
}
{T 00:49:33:03

}
{T 00:50:12:72
I told you Fiddler
wasn't needed!
}
{T 00:50:16:35

}
{T 00:50:16:72
How will we
buy luts now?
}
{T 00:50:21:00

}
{T 00:50:25:64
You are such
a silly bitch, mate
}
{T 00:50:27:96

}
{T 00:50:27:96
He's worse.
He's just a kyoo
}
{T 00:50:30:92

}
{T 00:51:06:32
I have
a proposition
}
{T 00:51:08:00

}
{T 00:51:08:00
We find Fiddler,
}
{T 00:51:09:99

}
{T 00:51:10:28
and then we'll go
to the local government
}
{T 00:51:11:96

}
{T 00:51:11:96
Get me some
sand, mate
}
{T 00:51:13:95

}
{T 00:51:15:92
We'll tell them
where we are from
}
{T 00:51:19:23

}
{T 00:51:21:56
they'll give us a
gravitsapa and we will
}
{T 00:51:25:52

}
{T 00:51:26:52
organise a mutually
beneficial trade...
}
{T 00:51:29:80

}
{T 00:51:31:48
you'll give us yellow pants
and we'll give you as many
matches as you want
}
{T 00:51:36:76

}
{T 00:51:36:76
We need a gravitsapa
to go to the government
}
{T 00:51:39:72

}
{T 00:51:40:08
The government lives on
another planet, mate
}
{T 00:51:44:04

}
{T 00:52:29:04
Uncle Vova!
I'm here!
}
{T 00:52:31:68

}
{T 00:52:50:52
Fiddler!
}
{T 00:52:51:19

}
{T 00:52:52:20
Where is my...
what's it called?
}
{T 00:52:54:48

}
{T 00:52:54:48
Tsak?
}
{T 00:52:55:47

}
{T 00:53:00:12
I have it
}
{T 00:53:01:12

}
{T 00:53:01:12
Give it to me
}
{T 00:53:02:12

}
{T 00:53:02:12
What for?
}
{T 00:53:03:08

}
{T 00:53:03:08
Just give it to me!
}
{T 00:53:05:07

}
{T 00:53:09:04
But there is
nobody here
}
{T 00:53:10:36

}
{T 00:53:12:04
This is mine
}
{T 00:53:13:03

}
{T 00:53:13:36
So keep it at the ready
}
{T 00:53:15:03

}
{T 00:53:35:84
Are you asleep?
}
{T 00:53:37:16

}
{T 00:53:38:84
No
}
{T 00:53:39:80

}
{T 00:53:40:16
Cheer up, Fiddler
}
{T 00:53:41:80

}
{T 00:53:42:48
If there is a gravitsapa
on Pluk, we'll find it
}
{T 00:53:46:11

}
{T 00:53:47:08
We've had it
much worse
}
{T 00:53:48:75

}
{T 00:53:53:72
Quiet
}
{T 00:53:55:36

}
{T 00:53:59:00
Stop!
}
{T 00:54:00:32

}
{T 00:54:01:64
Hey, would you give
us a lift to the Centre?
}
{T 00:54:04:96

}
{T 00:54:04:96
Patsak, stop
}
{T 00:54:05:96

}
{T 00:54:05:96
What?
}
{T 00:54:07:28

}
{T 00:54:08:60
That's close enough
}
{T 00:54:10:91

}
{T 00:54:11:92
What do you want?
}
{T 00:54:12:92

}
{T 00:54:12:92
Give us a lift!
}
{T 00:54:14:92

}
{T 00:54:14:92
3 chatls
}
{T 00:54:16:91

}
{T 00:54:17:20
We have no money,
but we'll work for it
}
{T 00:54:20:84

}
{T 00:54:20:84
What can you do?
}
{T 00:54:22:83

}
{T 00:54:23:48
Me? Anything!
}
{T 00:54:25:48

}
{T 00:54:25:48
Be specific
}
{T 00:54:26:44

}
{T 00:54:26:44
Vladimir Nickolaevich
works in construction
}
{T 00:54:30:44

}
{T 00:54:30:44
we'll build
you a house
}
{T 00:54:33:08

}
{T 00:54:33:08
And what
can you do?
}
{T 00:54:35:07

}
{T 00:54:35:72
Me?
}
{T 00:54:37:08

}
{T 00:54:37:72
He can play violin
}
{T 00:54:41:00

}
{T 00:54:41:00
Play!
}
{T 00:54:42:56

}
{T 00:54:45:16
I can't
}
{T 00:54:47:28

}
{T 00:54:48:36
Bye Patsaks
}
{T 00:54:49:27

}
{T 00:54:50:48
Wait, missy,
I can
}
{T 00:54:54:72

}
{T 00:54:54:72
Play!
}
{T 00:54:56:32

}
{T 00:54:56:32
Here?
}
{T 00:54:57:92

}
{T 00:54:57:92
Over there!
}
{T 00:54:59:91

}
{T 00:55:21:36
Wait, I'll sort
out the sound
}
{T 00:55:24:56

}
{T 00:55:29:36
Play
}
{T 00:55:30:95

}
{T 00:55:34:68
And sing
}
{T 00:55:35:75

}
{T 00:55:40:04
Right,
just a sec
}
{T 00:55:42:16

}
{T 00:55:42:68
How does it go...
}
{T 00:55:44:83

}
{T 00:55:45:36
Mother, mother,
what will we do?
}
{T 00:55:50:68

}
{T 00:55:50:68
Wow!
}
{T 00:55:52:68

}
{T 00:55:52:68
What?
}
{T 00:55:54:40

}
{T 00:55:54:40
I said wow
}
{T 00:55:54:96

}
{T 00:55:55:48
People like it
}
{T 00:55:57:08

}
{T 00:55:57:08
What?
}
{T 00:55:58:16

}
{T 00:55:58:16
People like it!
}
{T 00:56:00:15

}
{T 00:56:17:84
No
}
{T 00:56:18:91

}
{T 00:56:20:52
I could drum
}
{T 00:56:21:60

}
{T 00:56:21:60
How's that?
}
{T 00:56:22:64

}
{T 00:56:25:32
Foreman!
}
{T 00:56:27:44

}
{T 00:56:27:44
Fiddler isn't needed
}
{T 00:56:29:56

}
{T 00:56:32:24
It's OK, he
won't be a bother
}
{T 00:56:34:36

}
{T 00:56:34:36
Give us some
water, will you?
}
{T 00:56:36:35

}
{T 00:56:36:52
I said
- after the gig
}
{T 00:56:38:64

}
{T 00:56:39:16
We could just
take it, by force
}
{T 00:56:47:67

}
{T 00:56:48:24
You touch me and an
etselop will fly right here
and tear your legs off
}
{T 00:56:51:40

}
{T 00:56:51:40
Screw your etselop!
}
{T 00:56:53:39

}
{T 00:56:54:08
Calm down, Fiddler,
don't get the lady
all worked up
}
{T 00:56:56:76

}
{T 00:56:58:88
Hey, Foreman!
}
{T 00:57:01:00

}
{T 00:57:12:20
Look
}
{T 00:57:13:27

}
{T 00:57:20:72
Yeah, I got it
}
{T 00:57:22:84

}
{T 00:57:25:00
Look, do you have
a friend with a gravitsapa
and a pepelats?
}
{T 00:57:29:24

}
{T 00:57:29:24
Why?
}
{T 00:57:30:84

}
{T 00:57:30:84
If you could give
us a lift to Earth,
}
{T 00:57:32:96

}
{T 00:57:32:96
we'd give you both
a crate of ketse
}
{T 00:57:34:95

}
{T 00:57:37:24
I understand,
you don't believe in words.
What am I thinking?
}
{T 00:57:41:52

}
{T 00:57:44:16
That your wife is probably
calling the city morgue?
}
{T 00:57:47:36

}
{T 00:57:47:36
No, what am
I thinking now?
}
{T 00:57:51:08

}
{T 00:57:51:08
That you'll
give me ketse
}
{T 00:57:52:67

}
{T 00:57:53:24
See, it's true
}
{T 00:57:54:68

}
{T 00:57:55:88
What kind of moron
would think true stuff?
}
{T 00:57:58:56

}
{T 00:58:00:68
It's absurd
}
{T 00:58:02:27

}
{T 00:58:03:36
And because you say
what you don't think
}
{T 00:58:06:56

}
{T 00:58:06:56
and think what
you don't think
}
{T 00:58:08:56

}
{T 00:58:08:56
you sit in cages,
}
{T 00:58:11:32

}
{T 00:58:11:32
I can see this
whole bitter cataclysm
}
{T 00:58:16:12

}
{T 00:58:16:12
- and
Vladimir Nickolaevich, too
}
{T 00:58:19:32

}
{T 00:58:19:32
They say that Patsaks have
to sing in cages, do we
}
{T 00:58:22:52

}
{T 00:58:22:52
Stop freaking out
}
{T 00:58:24:52

}
{T 00:58:24:52
It's ok mate,
we'll sing next to it
}
{T 00:58:26:51

}
{T 00:58:27:32
Get in, he saw us,
he'll trangluke us!
}
{T 00:58:30:52

}
{T 00:58:30:52
We're not animals
}
{T 00:58:31:60

}
{T 00:58:31:60
What?
}
{T 00:58:33:59

}
{T 00:58:35:32
No, you'll get in!
}
{T 00:58:37:44

}
{T 00:58:37:44
Let go!
}
{T 00:58:38:52

}
{T 00:58:38:52
Stop it!
}
{T 00:58:40:51

}
{T 00:58:46:52
Get in, or he'll
melt us down!
}
{T 00:58:49:16

}
{T 00:58:49:68
Let's get in, Fiddler,
since the lady's asking
}
{T 00:58:53:44

}
{T 00:58:53:44
Get in
}
{T 00:58:55:43

}
{T 00:59:00:88
One, two, three...
}
{T 00:59:05:68

}
{T 00:59:05:68
Dance!
}
{T 00:59:07:28

}
{T 00:59:07:28
Dance
}
{T 00:59:08:36

}
{T 00:59:08:36
You know what?
Go book another band
}
{T 00:59:12:59

}
{T 00:59:13:68
What?
}
{T 00:59:15:80

}
{T 00:59:25:92
Be right back
}
{T 00:59:27:51

}
{T 00:59:31:24
We have to run
}
{T 00:59:32:84

}
{T 00:59:32:84
Boys, give it a push,
it's uphill
}
{T 00:59:36:04

}
{T 00:59:36:04
Now this we can do
}
{T 00:59:38:03

}
{T 00:59:46:16
Accelerate!
}
{T 00:59:47:75

}
{T 00:59:48:32
Bye, dorks!
}
{T 00:59:50:96

}
{T 01:00:10:68
I'll tell everybody
what this clown PG
did to the planet!
}
{T 01:00:18:16

}
{T 01:00:20:28
Patsaks are trampling
all over Chatlans!
}
{T 01:00:25:07

}
{T 01:00:32:52
Everything in place?
}
{T 01:00:35:72

}
{T 01:00:36:24
She stole
my aftershave
}
{T 01:00:37:72

}
{T 01:00:39:44
Women
}
{T 01:00:41:03

}
{T 01:00:46:92
Let me.
What do you have
in there - lead?
}
{T 01:00:52:24

}
{T 01:00:52:24
I got it,
uncle Vova
}
{T 01:00:53:83

}
{T 01:01:30:60
I have no idea
where to look
}
{T 01:01:34:88

}
{T 01:01:34:88
Where is Earth?
}
{T 01:01:36:87

}
{T 01:01:53:12
Me and comrade Moshkov,
being Patsaks,
}
{T 01:01:57:36

}
{T 01:01:57:36
could charge 2 chatls
per gig max
}
{T 01:02:01:64

}
{T 01:02:01:64
Water, luts and bribes
to etselops - at least a chatl a day
}
{T 01:02:06:44

}
{T 01:02:06:44
And a gravitsapa is
worth half a ketse!
That's 2200 chatls
}
{T 01:02:11:24

}
{T 01:02:11:24
Divide by 365,
minus weekends,
equals 6
}
{T 01:02:17:08

}
{T 01:02:17:08
I simply couldn't get
back in less than 6 years
}
{T 01:02:20:28

}
{T 01:02:20:28
Gedevan Alexandrovich,
I only have your word for it
}
{T 01:02:25:08

}
{T 01:02:25:08
Do you have any
proof that you came
back from outer space
}
{T 01:02:27:76

}
{T 01:02:27:76
and not sold the
violin and spent all
that time in the disco?
}
{T 01:02:35:19

}
{T 01:02:35:72
This is a
local mineral
}
{T 01:02:37:87

}
{T 01:02:38:40
This is a chatl
}
{T 01:02:41:08

}
{T 01:02:42:12
This is a tsak
}
{T 01:02:43:20

}
{T 01:02:43:20
A metal nut and
a sample of sand
}
{T 01:02:45:32

}
{T 01:02:45:32
are appended to
the report I gave
to the Dean's secretary
}
{T 01:02:49:04

}
{T 01:02:49:04
so she could
forward it to
the United Nations
}
{T 01:02:51:04

}
{T 01:02:51:04
Where?
}
{T 01:02:52:80

}
{T 01:02:52:80
To the United Nations
}
{T 01:02:54:39

}
{T 01:02:56:52
Look, Gedevan Alexandrovich,
you're an adult
}
{T 01:02:59:72

}
{T 01:02:59:72
You've studied here
for a half-term and then
disappeared for years
}
{T 01:03:02:92

}
{T 01:03:02:92
And now you come
back with a stone,
}
{T 01:03:06:64

}
{T 01:03:06:64
a piece of
Georgian ceramics
}
{T 01:03:10:88

}
{T 01:03:10:88
and a bell,
}
{T 01:03:13:56

}
{T 01:03:13:56
and you expect
me to believe...
}
{T 01:03:15:56

}
{T 01:03:15:56
And by the way,
if you are so musical,
}
{T 01:03:19:96

}
{T 01:03:19:96
why weren't you in
our student orchestra?
}
{T 01:03:24:00

}
{T 01:03:24:00
Excuse me, Fiddler,
but this is just koo!
}
{T 01:03:28:52

}
{T 01:03:30:20
END OF PART ONE
}
{T 01:03:32:24

}
{T 01:03:34:36
PART TWO
Fansubbed by Newkate & SadGeezer
The SadGeezers Guide to Cult Sci Fi
www.sadgeezer.com
}
{T 01:03:36:83

}
{T 01:03:37:36
Brief
CHATLAN - PATSAK
DICTIONARY
}
{T 01:03:44:36

}
{T 01:03:45:36
Ketze - Match
Tsak - Nose Bell
}
{T 01:03:52:36

}
{T 01:03:53:64
Etsih - Box for Prisoners
Etselop - Policeman
}
{T 01:04:02:36

}
{T 01:04:03:36
Pepelats - Spaceship
Gravitsapa - Pepelats Engine Part
}
{T 01:04:13:35

}
{T 01:04:15:36
Kyoo - A mild swear-word
Koo - All other words
}
{T 01:04:23:36

}
{T 01:07:07:84
Hi!
}
{T 01:07:08:72

}
{T 01:07:09:64
Hello
}
{T 01:07:10:72

}
{T 01:07:10:72
Long time no see
}
{T 01:07:12:71

}
{T 01:07:13:20
Bye!
}
{T 01:07:14:72

}
{T 01:07:15:88
Just a second!
}
{T 01:07:17:68

}
{T 01:07:18:56
I have a proposition
}
{T 01:07:19:68

}
{T 01:07:21:24
What?
}
{T 01:07:22:04

}
{T 01:07:26:60
What do we
think about you?
}
{T 01:07:28:40

}
{T 01:07:30:20
Come on, penetrate
my brain
}
{T 01:07:32:00

}
{T 01:07:35:56
Why are you bothering us?
What do you want?
}
{T 01:07:38:24

}
{T 01:07:39:12
Have you no shame?
}
{T 01:07:40:24

}
{T 01:07:40:24
Have you?
}
{T 01:07:41:80

}
{T 01:07:41:84
We are poor hungry artists!
What have we ever done to you?
}
{T 01:07:47:20

}
{T 01:07:47:20
Why are you stalking us?
}
{T 01:07:49:19

}
{T 01:07:51:64
Give me the widget
}
{T 01:07:53:44

}
{T 01:08:04:20
Come on
}
{T 01:08:05:95

}
{T 01:08:12:24
One, two, three...
}
{T 01:08:13:99

}
{T 01:08:14:92
Mother, mother,
what will we do? Koo!
}
{T 01:08:22:95

}
{T 01:08:56:04
Shut up,
you're tone deaf
}
{T 01:08:58:80

}
{T 01:09:26:48
Uncle Vova,
let's go again!
}
{T 01:09:27:71

}
{T 01:09:28:24
They love it!
}
{T 01:09:29:36

}
{T 01:09:29:36
They understand it!
}
{T 01:09:31:35

}
{T 01:09:31:84
One, two...
}
{T 01:09:32:72

}
{T 01:09:33:64
Etselop!
}
{T 01:09:34:71

}
{T 01:09:59:56
Artists, where's
our deathtrap?
}
{T 01:10:01:36

}
{T 01:10:01:36
Pepelats?
}
{T 01:10:02:24

}
{T 01:10:02:24
Yes
}
{T 01:10:04:24

}
{T 01:10:04:24
Over there
}
{T 01:10:05:72

}
{T 01:10:05:84
We're out of luts
}
{T 01:10:06:91

}
{T 01:10:07:60
All because
of you, bitch!
}
{T 01:10:08:92

}
{T 01:10:09:40
Fiddler! What are you doing?
Vandal!
}
{T 01:10:12:08

}
{T 01:10:12:96
Leave me alone!
}
{T 01:10:14:08

}
{T 01:10:15:68
Mate, this is a last breath,
a grave, a cemetery
}
{T 01:10:23:92

}
{T 01:10:27:28
Mate
}
{T 01:10:29:08

}
{T 01:10:30:88
And you say you were 'second league'
}
{T 01:10:32:63

}
{T 01:10:32:68
He was just bragging
}
{T 01:10:33:56

}
{T 01:10:33:56
It's not fair, you win
because of my brains
}
{T 01:10:36:24

}
{T 01:10:36:24
If you had brains, you'd be
studying Foreign Politics instead
of messing with our mood here
}
{T 01:10:40:72

}
{T 01:10:40:72
Let's play again.
You bet the violin,
the case and the tooth-stick
}
{T 01:10:46:08

}
{T 01:10:46:08
And this
}
{T 01:10:47:83

}
{T 01:10:47:88
Ok?
}
{T 01:10:48:76

}
{T 01:10:49:64
Ok. You bet the widget,
visator and Mr Uef's life source
}
{T 01:10:55:99

}
{T 01:10:56:80
Sure
}
{T 01:10:57:68

}
{T 01:10:57:72
Let's play
}
{T 01:10:59:68

}
{T 01:11:03:96
Uncle Vova, you have
to twist the tsapa
}
{T 01:11:09:32

}
{T 01:11:09:32
Here, you do it!
}
{T 01:11:10:24

}
{T 01:11:10:24
I can't,
I'm Chatlan
}
{T 01:11:12:23

}
{T 01:11:12:92
Oh sure, when it
comes to advising,
everyone is a Chatlan!
}
{T 01:11:19:16

}
{T 01:11:19:16
Checkmate
}
{T 01:11:20:04

}
{T 01:11:20:96
Not fair!
}
{T 01:11:22:03

}
{T 01:11:22:76
You thought up
bad moves for me!
}
{T 01:11:24:51

}
{T 01:11:25:44
You have to play
using your brains
}
{T 01:11:26:51

}
{T 01:11:26:56
How could he?
He's never seen these dolls before
}
{T 01:11:29:87

}
{T 01:11:29:92
Not my problem.
Give me my winnings
}
{T 01:11:31:88

}
{T 01:11:32:60
No way
}
{T 01:11:33:88

}
{T 01:11:34:08
Uef, have you ever seen
such a little Patsak acting like
such a materialistic kyoo?
}
{T 01:11:40:64

}
{T 01:11:40:64
Never. I keep saying,
Fiddler is not needed
}
{T 01:11:44:19

}
{T 01:11:46:00
Hey, boss!
}
{T 01:11:47:80

}
{T 01:11:52:24
And you say - tsapa!
}
{T 01:11:54:04

}
{T 01:12:02:08
So nobody
sings in cages?
}
{T 01:12:04:96

}
{T 01:12:06:56
Mr Bee, on Earth
we only cage animals
}
{T 01:12:11:92

}
{T 01:12:11:96
Are animals Chatlans?
}
{T 01:12:13:92

}
{T 01:12:14:60
I don't know. Similar
}
{T 01:12:18:20

}
{T 01:12:19:08
Is a nightingale a Patsak?
}
{T 01:12:20:20

}
{T 01:12:20:88
Why Patsak?
}
{T 01:12:22:68

}
{T 01:12:23:56
You said it doesn't
sing in a cage
}
{T 01:12:26:24

}
{T 01:12:26:24
Patsak then
}
{T 01:12:28:24

}
{T 01:12:28:24
See, you are as
racist as we on Pluk
}
{T 01:12:34:27

}
{T 01:12:34:32
Only, the power belongs not
to Chatlans, but to Patsaks
}
{T 01:12:37:88

}
{T 01:12:37:88
Like you and your
nightingale friend
}
{T 01:12:42:35

}
{T 01:13:23:48
Let me
}
{T 01:13:25:28

}
{T 01:14:02:84
Here, 4 gulps
}
{T 01:14:05:52

}
{T 01:14:05:52
Give the water to the children
}
{T 01:14:07:51

}
{T 01:14:10:08
You owe us 6042 boxes.
Fiddler, write it down
}
{T 01:14:15:03

}
{T 01:14:16:36
I have
}
{T 01:14:17:03

}
{T 01:14:30:68
Do you want any?
}
{T 01:14:31:56

}
{T 01:14:33:36
No
}
{T 01:14:35:16

}
{T 01:14:36:92
It's free
}
{T 01:14:38:72

}
{T 01:14:53:04
What are you doing?
What about me?
}
{T 01:14:56:19

}
{T 01:15:00:20
I'll pay 10 more boxes,
have some water
}
{T 01:15:03:75

}
{T 01:15:12:72
Kin-dza-dza!
}
{T 01:15:13:60

}
{T 01:15:27:92
A boat!
}
{T 01:15:28:80

}
{T 01:15:28:80
It's not a boat,
it's a luts station
}
{T 01:15:32:40

}
{T 01:15:32:40
Let's fill up!
}
{T 01:15:33:88

}
{T 01:15:33:88
Can't
}
{T 01:15:34:68

}
{T 01:15:34:68
It's a machine, next one
has a woman. We'll sing -
she'll cut us a deal, got it?
}
{T 01:15:41:08

}
{T 01:15:41:32
Stop slacking, uncle Vova
}
{T 01:15:43:12

}
{T 01:15:43:12
Let's go mate
}
{T 01:15:45:11

}
{T 01:15:51:16
If this was a sea,
why aren't there any shells?
}
{T 01:15:52:96

}
{T 01:15:53:84
Do you still have
seas on Earth?
}
{T 01:15:56:52

}
{T 01:15:56:56
We have seas, rivers
and decent people, Mr Uef
}
{T 01:16:02:80

}
{T 01:16:03:68
You are such
barbarians, I could cry
}
{T 01:16:06:36

}
{T 01:16:34:12
It's a shame my boss
can't see me, I'd get a raise
}
{T 01:16:37:84

}
{T 01:16:37:84
Hush Uncle Vova,
a lady is watching us
}
{T 01:16:41:23

}
{T 01:17:07:20
They took away the woman,
and put in a machine
}
{T 01:17:09:88

}
{T 01:17:12:56
Buy as much as you can, we'll
fly at least part of the way
}
{T 01:17:17:03

}
{T 01:17:19:72
We can't. Luts are
10 chatls per charge,
we have only 7
}
{T 01:17:25:96

}
{T 01:17:40:28
How far is the Centre?
}
{T 01:17:41:19

}
{T 01:17:42:08
160 kilometers
}
{T 01:17:43:88

}
{T 01:17:44:76
Uncle Vova!
}
{T 01:17:45:88

}
{T 01:17:45:88
Uef has more chatls
}
{T 01:17:47:87

}
{T 01:17:49:24
In his right boot
}
{T 01:17:51:04

}
{T 01:17:58:16
Hey, Chatlan!
}
{T 01:17:59:96

}
{T 01:18:00:84
What?
}
{T 01:18:02:64

}
{T 01:18:03:56
Take off your right boot
}
{T 01:18:05:31

}
{T 01:18:06:24
What for?
}
{T 01:18:07:31

}
{T 01:18:08:00
Come on, koo, koo
}
{T 01:18:09:32

}
{T 01:18:30:36
Kyoo, bitch!
}
{T 01:18:33:04

}
{T 01:18:40:20
Squat!
}
{T 01:18:41:11

}
{T 01:18:42:00
Why? They are not etselops
}
{T 01:18:44:68

}
{T 01:18:45:28
It's PG and his Patsak
You can get etsih with nails
for life by not squatting!
}
{T 01:18:50:88

}
{T 01:18:50:96
But who is he?
}
{T 01:18:52:03

}
{T 01:19:02:56
Did you see that?
}
{T 01:19:04:36

}
{T 01:19:04:36
Yeah. It's a hologram, mate!
}
{T 01:19:07:04

}
{T 01:19:07:04
The Violin!
}
{T 01:19:07:95

}
{T 01:19:12:40
Calm down! Freeze!
}
{T 01:19:16:00

}
{T 01:19:22:24
And you said - koo!
}
{T 01:19:24:04

}
{T 01:19:41:12
It's not a blimp moron,
it's the last breath of Mr PG
}
{T 01:19:45:64

}
{T 01:19:45:64
Rubbish
}
{T 01:19:46:52

}
{T 01:19:48:36
How could one man breathe
so much air while dying?
It's absurd
}
{T 01:19:52:88

}
{T 01:19:53:76
What are you saying!
PG is alive!
And I'm happy!
}
{T 01:19:56:48

}
{T 01:19:57:40
I'm even happier
}
{T 01:19:59:20

}
{T 01:20:40:84
Climb inside
}
{T 01:20:42:64

}
{T 01:20:42:64
Plastic?
}
{T 01:20:43:52

}
{T 01:20:44:08
No
}
{T 01:20:44:75

}
{T 01:20:45:36
Is there a normal way
into this supermarket?
}
{T 01:20:48:08

}
{T 01:20:48:08
To get in normally, we have
to pay in chatls mate
}
{T 01:20:51:68

}
{T 01:21:56:92
Let's go
}
{T 01:21:57:67

}
{T 01:21:57:72
Get lost!
}
{T 01:21:58:63

}
{T 01:22:36:64
Fiddler, Patsaks go there
}
{T 01:22:39:36

}
{T 01:22:59:24
What are they doing?
}
{T 01:23:00:15

}
{T 01:23:01:08
It's Mr PG's fourth pump
}
{T 01:23:04:68

}
{T 01:23:04:68
I love PG very much!
}
{T 01:23:06:68

}
{T 01:23:06:68
I koo him even more!
}
{T 01:23:08:67

}
{T 01:23:31:84
Here they make
water out of luts
}
{T 01:23:35:44

}
{T 01:24:03:68
What are they saying?
}
{T 01:24:05:27

}
{T 01:24:05:48
They are selling
}
{T 01:24:07:39

}
{T 01:24:09:00
What are they selling?
}
{T 01:24:10:83

}
{T 01:24:10:96
Everything
}
{T 01:24:12:84

}
{T 01:24:12:84
Let's buy a gravitsapa!
}
{T 01:24:14:43

}
{T 01:24:15:36
It's in another department
}
{T 01:24:16:43

}
{T 01:24:18:08
We first need to find out
Earth's tentura number
}
{T 01:24:20:76

}
{T 01:24:27:12
Yellow pants - koo twice!
}
{T 01:24:29:84

}
{T 01:24:56:16
Think of the orbit diameter
of your planet
}
{T 01:25:01:11

}
{T 01:25:02:48
I don't remember
}
{T 01:25:03:39

}
{T 01:25:04:32
Fiddler, you do it
}
{T 01:25:05:40

}
{T 01:25:05:40
Fiddler isn't needed,
you do it!
}
{T 01:25:07:39

}
{T 01:25:08:84
Oh, all right
}
{T 01:25:10:64

}
{T 01:25:13:36
Think of your planets
core density
}
{T 01:25:16:96

}
{T 01:25:17:00
Density?
I can't remember
}
{T 01:25:19:68

}
{T 01:25:19:88
I see
}
{T 01:25:21:68

}
{T 01:25:23:32
Think of the planets in your Galaxy,
as many as you know
}
{T 01:25:27:84

}
{T 01:25:29:64
Jupiter, Mars, Venus...
}
{T 01:25:32:36

}
{T 01:25:32:36
Where is my divination crystal?
It was right there!
}
{T 01:25:35:96

}
{T 01:25:36:68
Fiddler, put it back!
}
{T 01:25:38:27

}
{T 01:25:38:68
I thought it was just a
piece of glass, rubbish
}
{T 01:25:43:20

}
{T 01:25:45:04
Stupid cow
}
{T 01:25:46:84

}
{T 01:25:48:64
Enough
}
{T 01:25:49:56

}
{T 01:25:49:56
Stop rattling your brains moron
}
{T 01:25:52:28

}
{T 01:25:53:16
Here is your planet
}
{T 01:25:54:96

}
{T 01:25:55:00
Here is your planet: 013 in tentura,
just left of Ursa Major
}
{T 01:25:58:60

}
{T 01:25:59:48
If you want to talk,
that's extra
}
{T 01:26:02:20

}
{T 01:26:02:24
Pardon?
}
{T 01:26:03:12

}
{T 01:26:03:12
Think of your phone number
}
{T 01:26:05:11

}
{T 01:26:07:64
And tell them about the matches
}
{T 01:26:10:36

}
{T 01:26:23:04
Hello, I'm listening
}
{T 01:26:25:92

}
{T 01:26:25:96
Speak there
}
{T 01:26:27:28

}
{T 01:26:29:36
Hello, I'm listening!
}
{T 01:26:32:08

}
{T 01:26:34:80
Speak, time is money
}
{T 01:26:36:60

}
{T 01:26:36:60
Hello, Lucy
}
{T 01:26:38:60

}
{T 01:26:38:60
Vovka?
}
{T 01:26:39:32

}
{T 01:26:39:32
Can you hear me ok? It's me!
}
{T 01:26:41:31

}
{T 01:26:42:04
Vovka, where are you?
}
{T 01:26:43:32

}
{T 01:26:44:72
I'm here. How are you?
}
{T 01:26:47:44

}
{T 01:26:47:48
How's our son?
}
{T 01:26:48:55

}
{T 01:26:48:60
Where are you, Vovka?
}
{T 01:26:51:08

}
{T 01:26:51:08
I'm here, in this place,
I'll explain later
}
{T 01:26:54:68

}
{T 01:26:55:60
How's mum?
Have you seen her?
}
{T 01:26:59:20

}
{T 01:26:59:24
Yes I have. I'm asking you,
where are you?
}
{T 01:27:03:71

}
{T 01:27:05:56
Hey, she-Patsak, quit messing with us,
go buy two crates of ketse!
Or we'll find him another...
}
{T 01:27:11:88

}
{T 01:27:11:88
Lucy!
}
{T 01:27:18:20

}
{T 01:27:18:24
My dear!
}
{T 01:27:20:20

}
{T 01:27:20:24
Lucy!
}
{T 01:27:22:20

}
{T 01:27:22:72
Call Manokhin, tell him
that the keys to the
building store are in my office,
}
{T 01:27:30:88

}
{T 01:27:30:88
under the cabinet,
do you understand?
}
{T 01:27:34:48

}
{T 01:27:35:40
Oh, I understand
}
{T 01:27:38:20

}
{T 01:27:39:92
Please dial Batumi 3-47-57
and ask for Alik
}
{T 01:27:45:36

}
{T 01:27:45:36
No.
Get lost thief
}
{T 01:27:48:96

}
{T 01:28:15:20
Is something wrong?
}
{T 01:28:17:24

}
{T 01:28:20:64
Everything's fine,
but Earth is very far away
}
{T 01:28:24:28

}
{T 01:28:24:28
It will take 7 minutes instead of 5
}
{T 01:28:26:96

}
{T 01:28:27:00
Let's go and prepare some
tsapa for the gravitsapa
}
{T 01:28:30:60

}
{T 01:28:31:48
Astronauts!
Which one is tsapa?
}
{T 01:28:35:12

}
{T 01:28:35:12
It's a rusty metal nut mate
}
{T 01:28:37:11

}
{T 01:28:39:64
Everything is rusty here
}
{T 01:28:41:44

}
{T 01:28:42:36
That one is the rustiest
}
{T 01:28:45:08

}
{T 01:28:50:48
What are you doing,
are you nuts?
}
{T 01:28:53:20

}
{T 01:28:54:12
Wow, Lucy and Manokhin
have been transported!
}
{T 01:29:01:36

}
{T 01:29:10:40
Uncle Vova!
The match was in the hat!
}
{T 01:29:13:12

}
{T 01:29:14:04
Weird. Why would they leave?
}
{T 01:29:15:84

}
{T 01:29:16:72
Weird? They have a match
to buy a gravitsapa, and
they know where Earth is!
}
{T 01:29:20:35

}
{T 01:29:23:08
Comrade etselop!
}
{T 01:29:28:48

}
{T 01:29:28:52
They stole from us!
}
{T 01:29:30:48

}
{T 01:29:31:20
Please catch them!
}
{T 01:29:32:48

}
{T 01:29:39:16
40 chatls
}
{T 01:29:40:15

}
{T 01:29:41:16
Our money is with the guide.
That's not even my violin!
}
{T 01:29:44:79

}
{T 01:29:45:68
They did not koo in
front of a video of PG.
What are you staring at?
}
{T 01:29:51:12

}
{T 01:29:51:12
I'll tell that you knew and did nothing,
you'll be fucking trangluked! Right?
}
{T 01:29:58:36

}
{T 01:29:59:28
I didn't do nothing.
I pressed the kappa at once
}
{T 01:30:02:88

}
{T 01:30:02:88
Fiddler is a witness
}
{T 01:30:04:87

}
{T 01:30:06:48
Calling all patrols!
}
{T 01:30:10:11

}
{T 01:30:12:84
There's nothing there
}
{T 01:30:15:36

}
{T 01:30:15:56
Open it
}
{T 01:30:17:36

}
{T 01:30:17:36
Let them see
}
{T 01:30:19:35

}
{T 01:30:31:84
It's vinegar
}
{T 01:30:33:64

}
{T 01:30:34:56
That's none of your business
}
{T 01:30:36:36

}
{T 01:30:48:12
The Patsak will be trangluked,
the Chatlan gets etsih
for life - with nails
}
{T 01:30:54:44

}
{T 01:30:59:88
Brother Patsak tell them
the truth, that I squatted,
it was this Chatlan...
}
{T 01:31:08:04

}
{T 01:31:12:56
Shut up parasite!
}
{T 01:31:15:28

}
{T 01:31:15:28
You shut up!
}
{T 01:31:17:08

}
{T 01:31:17:96
Vovka, my friend!
Gedevan Alexandrovich!
}
{T 01:31:22:48

}
{T 01:31:22:52
Tell them it was him!
}
{T 01:31:24:48

}
{T 01:31:24:52
He was the one
who did not squat
}
{T 01:31:26:48

}
{T 01:31:26:52
And I will give
you the Pepelats
}
{T 01:31:27:92

}
{T 01:31:27:92
Uncle Vova,
the Pepelats is mine!
}
{T 01:31:29:91

}
{T 01:31:31:56
Calm down
}
{T 01:31:35:16

}
{T 01:31:38:80
Everyhting's fine.
Everybody squatted like monkeys.
I was wrong
}
{T 01:31:44:20

}
{T 01:31:46:04
And it was me who
brought the ketse here
}
{T 01:31:47:84

}
{T 01:31:50:56
What ketse?
}
{T 01:31:52:36

}
{T 01:31:53:28
That match you
took out of the hat
}
{T 01:31:55:96

}
{T 01:31:56:00
There was no match
}
{T 01:31:57:96

}
{T 01:31:58:68
Uncle Vova, mate,
what are you saying!
}
{T 01:32:00:48

}
{T 01:32:00:52
Sorry, I forgot
}
{T 01:32:02:48

}
{T 01:32:03:20
There was no match
}
{T 01:32:04:48

}
{T 01:32:05:48
There was no match
}
{T 01:32:06:47

}
{T 01:32:09:56
You two, etsih without nails - for life.
Until the fee of 500 chatls is paid
}
{T 01:32:17:67

}
{T 01:32:18:60
Thank you!
}
{T 01:32:19:67

}
{T 01:32:20:40
Patsak, fix the violin and sing
}
{T 01:32:23:12

}
{T 01:32:24:04
Fiddler, work that widget!
}
{T 01:32:26:72

}
{T 01:32:26:76
Guys, we were just kidding,
we thought it would be a laugh!
}
{T 01:32:30:36

}
{T 01:32:31:28
See you!
}
{T 01:32:33:08

}
{T 01:32:50:28
Hello, Earthling!
}
{T 01:32:52:96

}
{T 01:32:53:00
I knew one day your explorations
would carry you to this planet
}
{T 01:32:57:47

}
{T 01:33:00:20
Greetings from
Vladimir Nickolaevich Moshkov,
}
{T 01:33:03:84

}
{T 01:33:03:84
construction foreman from Moskow
}
{T 01:33:05:84

}
{T 01:33:05:84
and Gedevan Alexidze
from Batumi
}
{T 01:33:07:84

}
{T 01:33:07:84
We were the first to set foot
onto this wretched sand in the
backwater of the Universe
}
{T 01:33:13:79

}
{T 01:33:15:60
Brother Patsak
add some fuel
}
{T 01:33:18:32

}
{T 01:33:18:32
Give me something else then
}
{T 01:33:20:31

}
{T 01:33:32:80
Maybe by this time,
some people who knew
me are still alive
}
{T 01:33:39:12

}
{T 01:33:39:12
Please tell them that
I did not steal the violin...
}
{T 01:33:42:72

}
{T 01:33:42:76
Look, good as new
}
{T 01:33:44:72

}
{T 01:33:50:88
Here is another piece
}
{T 01:33:53:60

}
{T 01:33:53:60
Yeah, this sort of
thing can happen
}
{T 01:33:57:20

}
{T 01:34:08:96
Is it nutritious?
}
{T 01:34:10:80

}
{T 01:34:10:80
Earthlings!
You really shouldn't have
pressed it like that
}
{T 01:34:15:32

}
{T 01:34:15:32
I only found you
thanks to the dial memory
}
{T 01:34:18:92

}
{T 01:34:18:92
I'm returning your sock,
thank you
}
{T 01:34:21:64

}
{T 01:34:22:56
If you wish,
I can transport
you back to Earth,
}
{T 01:34:25:28

}
{T 01:34:25:28
I found out your tentura number
}
{T 01:34:27:28

}
{T 01:34:27:28
But you have to hurry,
one second here
is half a year there
}
{T 01:34:31:96

}
{T 01:34:32:60
I have a proposition
}
{T 01:34:33:76

}
{T 01:34:33:76
We go to Earth,
get some matches,
go back, sell them...
}
{T 01:34:37:72

}
{T 01:34:37:72
get our guys
out of the jail,...
}
{T 01:34:39:72

}
{T 01:34:39:72
go to Moscow
and you go home
}
{T 01:34:41:47

}
{T 01:34:41:72
I can't do that,
I only have 3 charges
}
{T 01:34:43:20

}
{T 01:34:43:40
That's great!
}
{T 01:34:44:31

}
{T 01:34:45:12
Enough to go there,
here and back again
}
{T 01:34:48:19

}
{T 01:34:48:88
And what about me?
}
{T 01:34:50:55

}
{T 01:34:51:72
Listen, freind
}
{T 01:34:52:95

}
{T 01:35:02:76
Make up your mind
}
{T 01:35:03:88

}
{T 01:35:04:24
I'm counting to three.
One...
}
{T 01:35:05:91

}
{T 01:35:06:28
Wait
}
{T 01:35:06:84

}
{T 01:35:06:84
Two...
}
{T 01:35:07:40

}
{T 01:35:08:00
Please understand,
they are in jail
because of me
}
{T 01:35:11:28

}
{T 01:35:11:52
And my little son has
a beard like this by now!
}
{T 01:35:14:12

}
{T 01:35:14:68
Two and a half...
}
{T 01:35:16:12

}
{T 01:35:16:40
Two and a half!
}
{T 01:35:17:84

}
{T 01:35:17:88
I cannot do this
}
{T 01:35:19:84

}
{T 01:35:21:08
Three
}
{T 01:35:22:64

}
{T 01:35:40:28
Who needs all this stuff?
}
{T 01:35:42:24

}
{T 01:35:42:92
Stupid tsaks,
all this rubbish...
}
{T 01:35:45:39

}
{T 01:35:45:76
We'll never...
}
{T 01:35:46:88

}
{T 01:35:58:04
Where did you
get this from? Huh?
}
{T 01:36:00:27

}
{T 01:36:02:36
It was just lying around
in the planetarium,
on the shelf
}
{T 01:36:05:51

}
{T 01:36:05:88
Fiddler...
}
{T 01:36:07:11

}
{T 01:36:08:04
My dear little klepto
}
{T 01:36:10:00

}
{T 01:36:10:04
You've pinched
a gravitsapa!
}
{T 01:36:12:24

}
{T 01:37:01:12
Patsaks!
}
{T 01:37:01:92

}
{T 01:37:02:92
Why are you
singing standing up?
}
{T 01:37:04:96

}
{T 01:37:05:56
It's only allowed over there
}
{T 01:37:06:96

}
{T 01:37:08:40
The Etselop didn't
let us sing there
}
{T 01:37:10:55

}
{T 01:37:11:00
Here you can only
sing on your knees
}
{T 01:37:13:96

}
{T 01:37:14:32
We're fine as we are
}
{T 01:37:15:76

}
{T 01:37:16:48
Come on,
give us money
}
{T 01:37:18:55

}
{T 01:37:26:60
Now, now, be good
}
{T 01:37:28:27

}
{T 01:37:48:84
Strangers in the Koo.
}
{T 01:37:51:56

}
{T 01:38:05:24
Uncle Vova,
}
{T 01:38:05:96

}
{T 01:38:07:64
here is your coat...
it's walking, wearing my hat
}
{T 01:38:10:36

}
{T 01:38:11:28
Hi!
}
{T 01:38:12:19

}
{T 01:38:14:80
How's life?
}
{T 01:38:15:60

}
{T 01:38:19:12
What's new on Pluk?
}
{T 01:38:22:32

}
{T 01:38:26:76
Sing
}
{T 01:38:27:43

}
{T 01:38:33:00
I'm having a bad voice day
}
{T 01:38:34:83

}
{T 01:38:36:32
Sing!
}
{T 01:38:37:12

}
{T 01:39:45:92
Vladimir Nicolaevich
}
{T 01:39:47:04

}
{T 01:39:48:20
I can't stand
this any longer
}
{T 01:39:49:19

}
{T 01:39:50:24
Calm down, Fiddler
}
{T 01:39:51:20

}
{T 01:39:54:56
How much is this?
}
{T 01:39:55:55

}
{T 01:39:57:72
I think we've
made enough
}
{T 01:39:59:28

}
{T 01:40:01:96
How much is this one?
}
{T 01:40:02:52

}
{T 01:40:10:00
Estelop!
}
{T 01:40:10:80

}
{T 01:40:20:48
Patsaks!
}
{T 01:40:21:15

}
{T 01:40:22:64
Why aren't you
wearing muzzles?
}
{T 01:40:24:12

}
{T 01:40:25:72
Turn around
}
{T 01:40:26:52

}
{T 01:40:27:64
New order
from Mr PG -
}
{T 01:40:29:36

}
{T 01:40:30:04
all Patsaks must
now wear muzzles
}
{T 01:40:32:76

}
{T 01:40:33:56
and be happy
}
{T 01:40:34:76

}
{T 01:40:35:48
This is for me,
}
{T 01:40:37:07

}
{T 01:40:37:76
this is for you
}
{T 01:40:39:08

}
{T 01:40:40:84
and this is for you
}
{T 01:40:42:20

}
{T 01:40:42:88
Why aren't you happy?
}
{T 01:40:44:20

}
{T 01:40:44:92
Answer me!
}
{T 01:40:46:75

}
{T 01:40:50:72
Come on, Chatlan,
get your tranglucator
}
{T 01:40:52:76

}
{T 01:40:57:20
Put it on
}
{T 01:40:58:11

}
{T 01:40:58:68
Yes, sir!
}
{T 01:40:59:36

}
{T 01:40:59:36
And be happy
}
{T 01:41:00:95

}
{T 01:41:02:44
I'm so happy!
}
{T 01:41:03:35

}
{T 01:41:04:84
Look, PG is here!
}
{T 01:41:06:07

}
{T 01:41:07:80
Where?
}
{T 01:41:08:95

}
{T 01:41:14:28
Get up!
}
{T 01:41:15:95

}
{T 01:41:18:04
Get up!
}
{T 01:41:19:19

}
{T 01:41:20:80
Open your mouth!
}
{T 01:41:21:95

}
{T 01:41:23:08
Open wider!
}
{T 01:41:24:20

}
{T 01:41:25:36
Fiddler
}
{T 01:41:26:11

}
{T 01:41:27:00
Get me a gag
}
{T 01:41:28:44

}
{T 01:41:30:40
Quick!
}
{T 01:41:31:88

}
{T 01:41:36:04
Turn around!
}
{T 01:41:37:56

}
{T 01:41:40:00
Nose
}
{T 01:41:41:48

}
{T 01:41:43:64
Give back our money
}
{T 01:41:45:79

}
{T 01:41:47:76
Here, hold this
}
{T 01:41:49:51

}
{T 01:41:53:00
Take this off
}
{T 01:41:54:36

}
{T 01:41:57:16
If you think it's
not a tranglucator
}
{T 01:42:00:20

}
{T 01:42:00:32
it will be the last thought
in your Chatlan head
}
{T 01:42:02:71

}
{T 01:42:04:00
Show us the shortest
way to the etsih
}
{T 01:42:06:07

}
{T 01:42:06:28
Go!
}
{T 01:42:07:08

}
{T 01:42:08:24
Everybody down!
Stay there for half an hour
}
{T 01:42:11:39

}
{T 01:42:16:08
Move!
}
{T 01:42:16:80

}
{T 01:42:16:92
Move!
}
{T 01:42:18:07

}
{T 01:42:19:56
Faster!
}
{T 01:42:20:60

}
{T 01:42:30:92
Excuse us, granny
}
{T 01:42:32:72

}
{T 01:42:42:76
That was PG's mother
}
{T 01:42:44:88

}
{T 01:43:11:64
Do you see this?
}
{T 01:43:14:03

}
{T 01:43:14:12
It's the man himself
}
{T 01:43:15:64

}
{T 01:43:17:32
Everybody
get in the tub, now!
}
{T 01:43:19:36

}
{T 01:43:32:24
Open the door
}
{T 01:43:33:52

}
{T 01:43:36:88
Stay there for 24 hours
}
{T 01:43:38:24

}
{T 01:43:38:88
Koo, or not koo?
}
{T 01:43:40:84

}
{T 01:44:07:28
Here it is
}
{T 01:44:09:00

}
{T 01:44:15:12
Which number?
}
{T 01:44:15:84

}
{T 01:44:16:08
The last one
}
{T 01:44:16:80

}
{T 01:44:44:56
Hello
}
{T 01:44:45:20

}
{T 01:44:49:00
Hey, Chatlan
}
{T 01:44:50:36

}
{T 01:44:51:04
Sing
}
{T 01:44:51:55

}
{T 01:44:52:64
Fiddler, stop it
}
{T 01:44:53:55

}
{T 01:44:57:60
Last but one then
}
{T 01:44:58:72

}
{T 01:45:11:12
Get lost!
}
{T 01:45:11:79

}
{T 01:45:28:28
Hello,
Gedevan Alexandrovich
}
{T 01:45:30:67

}
{T 01:45:31:64
Hello
}
{T 01:45:32:55

}
{T 01:45:35:04
Get out of there
}
{T 01:45:35:60

}
{T 01:45:38:76
We can't
}
{T 01:45:39:64

}
{T 01:45:40:12
They'll catch us again
}
{T 01:45:42:08

}
{T 01:45:47:04
Stop
}
{T 01:45:47:60

}
{T 01:45:51:80
We have a gravitsapa
}
{T 01:45:53:44

}
{T 01:46:08:08
Koo, Uncle Vova!
}
{T 01:46:09:15

}
{T 01:46:11:76
Cut it
}
{T 01:46:13:48

}
{T 01:46:15:12
Right here
}
{T 01:46:16:56

}
{T 01:46:24:12
All together now!
}
{T 01:46:25:24

}
{T 01:46:35:48
Uncle Vova, help me
with the etsih
}
{T 01:46:38:60

}
{T 01:46:40:24
Leave it!
}
{T 01:46:40:88

}
{T 01:46:42:20
Vladimir Nicolaevich!
}
{T 01:46:43:68

}
{T 01:46:43:84
Humankind worked for
millenia just to get one
stone from the Moon
}
{T 01:46:48:12

}
{T 01:46:48:20
And here we have
a live alien and an etsih
}
{T 01:46:50:88

}
{T 01:46:50:88
made of an unknown metal!
}
{T 01:46:52:87

}
{T 01:46:54:24
I said, leave it!
}
{T 01:46:55:88

}
{T 01:47:16:20
Tsapa
}
{T 01:47:16:71

}
{T 01:47:17:60
Yes sir, tsapa
}
{T 01:47:18:72

}
{T 01:47:20:92
Tsapa!
}
{T 01:47:22:24

}
{T 01:47:22:32
Press the tsapa!
}
{T 01:47:23:32

}
{T 01:47:23:32
I did!
}
{T 01:47:24:44

}
{T 01:47:28:48
Are we flying?
}
{T 01:47:29:39

}
{T 01:47:29:96
Starting her up...
}
{T 01:47:30:68

}
{T 01:47:31:00
Come on, gentlemen,
before they come
to their senses!
}
{T 01:47:34:52

}
{T 01:47:34:68
You're not helping!
}
{T 01:47:36:64

}
{T 01:47:58:28
And we've landed
}
{T 01:47:59:92

}
{T 01:48:00:40
Landed where?
}
{T 01:48:01:84

}
{T 01:48:04:52
Hanut
}
{T 01:48:05:92

}
{T 01:48:07:60
What's Hanut?
}
{T 01:48:09:16

}
{T 01:48:09:60
The planet where
I was born
}
{T 01:48:11:64

}
{T 01:48:12:04
And me
}
{T 01:48:13:56

}
{T 01:48:15:92
It's night
}
{T 01:48:16:96

}
{T 01:48:17:00
Now it's always night here
}
{T 01:48:19:20

}
{T 01:48:19:40
Put this on
}
{T 01:48:20:39

}
{T 01:48:20:48
Why?
}
{T 01:48:21:47

}
{T 01:48:21:60
There's no bloody air here
}
{T 01:48:23:67

}
{T 01:48:24:32
So how do you live here?
}
{T 01:48:25:96

}
{T 01:48:26:36
Nobody has lived here for ages
}
{T 01:48:29:32

}
{T 01:48:29:68
Plukans trangluked the planet...
}
{T 01:48:32:56

}
{T 01:48:32:80
while we were on tour
}
{T 01:48:34:32

}
{T 01:48:34:52
Why?
}
{T 01:48:35:59

}
{T 01:48:35:92
Because we did
not get them first
}
{T 01:48:37:75

}
{T 01:48:37:96
Why did you want
to get them?
}
{T 01:48:39:79

}
{T 01:48:39:92
So they'd stop bugging
us with their existense
}
{T 01:48:42:39

}
{T 01:48:43:32
Did everybody die?
}
{T 01:48:44:31

}
{T 01:48:44:52
Of course
}
{T 01:48:46:32

}
{T 01:48:47:20
Vovka, I have a proposition
}
{T 01:48:49:84

}
{T 01:48:50:04
This planet now costs peanuts
}
{T 01:48:52:08

}
{T 01:48:52:24
63 chatls
}
{T 01:48:53:39

}
{T 01:48:53:68
We'll tour the galaxy for a
month singing 'Mother, Mother'...
}
{T 01:48:56:40

}
{T 01:48:56:52
and the planet is ours!
}
{T 01:48:57:92

}
{T 01:48:58:28
Another month and we'll
even be able to buy air
}
{T 01:49:00:08

}
{T 01:49:00:60
93 chatls
}
{T 01:49:02:08

}
{T 01:49:02:48
Everyone who has no air
}
{T 01:49:04:07

}
{T 01:49:04:48
will rush straight here
}
{T 01:49:06:07

}
{T 01:49:06:12
The air belongs to us
}
{T 01:49:07:56

}
{T 01:49:07:64
They will crawl before us,
and we will spit on them
}
{T 01:49:10:40

}
{T 01:49:11:08
What for?
}
{T 01:49:11:96

}
{T 01:49:12:28
For fun
}
{T 01:49:13:64

}
{T 01:49:14:24
What kind of fun is that?
}
{T 01:49:15:64

}
{T 01:49:17:44
He's so young
}
{T 01:49:18:35

}
{T 01:49:18:76
Half of the planet could be
yours, the other half ours. OK?
}
{T 01:49:22:12

}
{T 01:49:24:56
This is very tempting
}
{T 01:49:26:95

}
{T 01:49:27:96
But we need to
go back to Earth
}
{T 01:49:29:95

}
{T 01:49:30:88
Let's move, the supermarket
shuts in half an hour
}
{T 01:49:34:35

}
{T 01:49:37:96
Vovka, relax
}
{T 01:49:40:19

}
{T 01:49:43:68
Look
}
{T 01:49:45:20

}
{T 01:49:48:68
We're here
}
{T 01:49:50:40

}
{T 01:49:51:12
Earth is there
}
{T 01:49:52:44

}
{T 01:49:52:72
And there is Alpha
}
{T 01:49:54:20

}
{T 01:49:54:76
On Alpha they turn
us into cactuses
}
{T 01:49:57:44

}
{T 01:49:58:04
Earth is in
anti-tentura, dear
}
{T 01:50:00:40

}
{T 01:50:01:00
We cannot get
there, understand?
}
{T 01:50:04:23

}
{T 01:50:05:40
Why?
}
{T 01:50:06:23

}
{T 01:50:06:60
That's how it is.
It's just my luck really
}
{T 01:50:09:64

}
{T 01:50:10:80
A Pepelats can't
get to Earth!
}
{T 01:50:13:40

}
{T 01:50:14:32
So quit arguing
}
{T 01:50:15:76

}
{T 01:50:15:96
Ok?
}
{T 01:50:17:19

}
{T 01:50:17:72
Let's go and decide how
we will share the planet
}
{T 01:50:20:19

}
{T 01:50:30:36
Did you learn about
this in the planetarium?
}
{T 01:50:32:96

}
{T 01:50:33:20
Yes mate
}
{T 01:50:35:00

}
{T 01:50:35:72
That's why you
stole the match?
}
{T 01:50:38:36

}
{T 01:50:38:88
Of course
}
{T 01:50:40:20

}
{T 01:50:40:52
Uncle Vova,
they're lying!
}
{T 01:50:42:83

}
{T 01:50:44:20
Don't believe them
}
{T 01:50:46:40

}
{T 01:50:47:96
Get us to Earth, now!
}
{T 01:50:50:48

}
{T 01:50:51:56
No, Gedevan
}
{T 01:50:53:23

}
{T 01:50:53:48
They're not lying
}
{T 01:50:55:20

}
{T 01:50:55:60
They'd crawl across the Universe
on their stomachs for a
chance to get some matches
}
{T 01:51:01:39

}
{T 01:51:18:40
Vovka, it's a
silly thing to do
}
{T 01:51:21:08

}
{T 01:51:21:72
This air has
only 2% oxygen
}
{T 01:51:24:63

}
{T 01:52:27:60
Gedevan
}
{T 01:52:29:43

}
{T 01:52:30:68
Don't do this,
you're so young.
Live!
}
{T 01:52:33:80

}
{T 01:52:34:36
Maybe things will change
}
{T 01:52:36:35

}
{T 01:52:38:32
Fiddler isn't needed, Uncle Vova
}
{T 01:52:42:00

}
{T 01:52:58:68
Patsak!
}
{T 01:52:59:51

}
{T 01:53:05:44
You're going to
die in a moment
}
{T 01:53:07:67

}
{T 01:53:09:48
so tell us the
truth for once
}
{T 01:53:11:63

}
{T 01:53:12:24
Why didn't you teleport
home with that jerk
while you could?
}
{T 01:53:17:00

}
{T 01:53:17:76
What did you want?
}
{T 01:53:19:64

}
{T 01:53:21:04
Purple pants?
}
{T 01:53:22:44

}
{T 01:53:23:04
PG's bathtub?
}
{T 01:53:24:44

}
{T 01:53:24:88
Tell us,
what did you want?
}
{T 01:53:26:92

}
{T 01:53:33:64
Gedevan,
dear friend
}
{T 01:53:35:47

}
{T 01:53:37:12
You tell me
}
{T 01:53:38:32

}
{T 01:53:38:44
You can tell me,
I'm one of us
}
{T 01:53:41:00

}
{T 01:53:41:20
My mother was Georgian
}
{T 01:53:43:92

}
{T 01:53:54:96
He says his mother
was a local Georgian
}
{T 01:53:59:51

}
{T 01:53:59:84
Uef!
}
{T 01:54:01:04

}
{T 01:54:01:56
I don't care
}
{T 01:54:02:76

}
{T 01:54:02:96
I will koo them to Alpha!
}
{T 01:54:06:56

}
{T 01:54:07:76
And you,
lousy Chatlan
}
{T 01:54:09:44

}
{T 01:54:09:44
put on the tsak
}
{T 01:54:10:52

}
{T 01:54:10:52
and squat when you
talk to a Patsak!
}
{T 01:54:13:16

}
{T 01:54:13:28
Hanut is a Patsak
planet mate
}
{T 01:54:15:96

}
{T 01:54:19:72
Say it again
}
{T 01:54:21:04

}
{T 01:54:22:16
You will
catapult us to Alpha
}
{T 01:54:24:36

}
{T 01:54:24:52
and try to stop
the ship in its orbit
}
{T 01:54:27:67

}
{T 01:54:28:40
There's no way we
can break over there!
}
{T 01:54:29:88

}
{T 01:54:29:92
Don't interrupt
}
{T 01:54:31:48

}
{T 01:54:33:84
Carry on mate
}
{T 01:54:35:43

}
{T 01:54:36:08
On Alpha, while they
transport us to Earth
}
{T 01:54:39:76

}
{T 01:54:39:96
we will hold on to the bottom of
the space-transportation gadget
}
{T 01:54:43:43

}
{T 01:54:43:52
and the gadget will
transport with us
}
{T 01:54:45:91

}
{T 01:54:46:08
On Earth,...
}
{T 01:54:47:15

}
{T 01:54:47:28
we will buy you
4 crates of matches
}
{T 01:54:51:16

}
{T 01:54:52:68
Carry on mate
}
{T 01:54:54:12

}
{T 01:54:54:52
How many times do
we have to go over it?
}
{T 01:54:57:36

}
{T 01:54:57:76
Let's go
}
{T 01:54:58:56

}
{T 01:54:59:12
Because of you I will spend
an eternity in a plant pot
}
{T 01:55:02:67

}
{T 01:55:05:84
and you can't
even do this for us
}
{T 01:55:08:40

}
{T 01:55:12:84
My dear, good friends
}
{T 01:55:15:64

}
{T 01:55:16:00
Lets' fly already or
at least close this door
}
{T 01:55:18:64

}
{T 01:55:19:88
I can't stand the sight
of you any longer
}
{T 01:55:22:16

}
{T 01:55:22:88
I'm going to be sick
any moment now
}
{T 01:55:25:16

}
{T 01:55:30:48
So long mate
}
{T 01:55:32:31

}
{T 01:55:39:24
And we're flying
}
{T 01:55:40:15

}
{T 01:55:40:80
Break!
}
{T 01:55:41:68

}
{T 01:55:43:32
Break!
}
{T 01:55:44:12

}
{T 01:55:45:60
Break!
}
{T 01:55:46:59

}
{T 01:55:46:84
How can I?
You've drunk all our
breaking fluid! Alcoholic
}
{T 01:55:51:20

}
{T 01:55:52:64
Can't be good for him
}
{T 01:55:54:20

}
{T 01:55:54:56
Turn off your antlers
}
{T 01:55:56:32

}
{T 01:55:56:32
They can't be turned off
}
{T 01:55:57:55

}
{T 01:55:57:72
Take them off then
}
{T 01:55:58:95

}
{T 01:55:59:12
They might break
}
{T 01:56:00:44

}
{T 01:56:03:04
I think we've landed
}
{T 01:56:04:44

}
{T 01:56:05:16
That's how it
was the last time
}
{T 01:56:06:36

}
{T 01:56:06:48
All right
}
{T 01:56:07:88

}
{T 01:56:08:72
Put on your
gas mask
}
{T 01:56:10:20

}
{T 01:56:10:28
What about tsak?
}
{T 01:56:11:32

}
{T 01:56:11:40
No, they'll have
to do without
}
{T 01:56:13:20

}
{T 01:56:19:00
Earth!
}
{T 01:56:20:56

}
{T 01:56:44:44
''Om the river, om the far river bamk... ''
}
{T 01:56:49:52

}
{T 01:56:54:92
No
}
{T 01:56:55:99

}
{T 01:56:57:08
This isn't Earth
}
{T 01:56:58:83

}
{T 01:57:03:76
Hello
}
{T 01:57:05:35

}
{T 01:57:06:76
We're Patsaks
from planet Earth
}
{T 01:57:08:96

}
{T 01:57:09:36
Who are you?
}
{T 01:57:10:27

}
{T 01:57:11:00
This is planet Alpha
}
{T 01:57:12:67

}
{T 01:57:13:04
Tell Decont here,
your coordinates
}
{T 01:57:15:08

}
{T 01:57:15:60
and she will transport
you to the starting point
}
{T 01:57:18:36

}
{T 01:57:18:64
Have a nice day
}
{T 01:57:20:84

}
{T 01:57:22:04
Please give me
your planet number
}
{T 01:57:24:76

}
{T 01:57:25:40
013 in tentura
}
{T 01:57:28:08

}
{T 01:57:31:68
It's somewhere here
}
{T 01:57:33:96

}
{T 01:57:35:44
To the left of Ursa Major
}
{T 01:57:37:24

}
{T 01:57:37:32
This is not necessary
}
{T 01:57:38:68

}
{T 01:57:38:96
Would you please
hold your hands
}
{T 01:57:41:24

}
{T 01:57:41:36
Miss, what did
you do with them?
}
{T 01:57:43:80

}
{T 01:57:44:56
They are in the
Second Greenhouse
}
{T 01:57:46:36

}
{T 01:57:46:56
Would you please
hold your hands
}
{T 01:57:49:03

}
{T 01:57:49:32
Do you really turn
people into cactuses?
}
{T 01:57:51:47

}
{T 01:57:51:56
Only people from Pluk
}
{T 01:57:52:63

}
{T 01:57:52:68
They're not Plukans,
they're Hanutians
}
{T 01:57:55:04

}
{T 01:57:55:16
This is not relevant
}
{T 01:57:56:23

}
{T 01:57:56:28
Would you please
put the mask on
}
{T 01:57:59:27

}
{T 01:58:00:52
Why?
}
{T 01:58:01:08

}
{T 01:58:01:24
You have beautiful air
}
{T 01:58:02:44

}
{T 01:58:02:56
That's why
}
{T 01:58:04:00

}
{T 01:58:04:80
Would you get a load of her!
}
{T 01:58:05:84

}
{T 01:58:05:84
Calm down.
Put it on
}
{T 01:58:07:24

}
{T 01:58:07:36
Gedevan!
}
{T 01:58:08:24

}
{T 01:58:11:56
On behalf of the
people of Earth, please...
}
{T 01:58:13:87

}
{T 01:58:16:04
Let them go
}
{T 01:58:17:95

}
{T 01:58:22:96
Who can make
this decision?
}
{T 01:58:25:35

}
{T 01:58:26:20
Abradox can
}
{T 01:58:27:24

}
{T 01:58:27:44
But...
}
{T 01:58:28:35

}
{T 01:58:30:20
Take us to him
}
{T 01:58:31:72

}
{T 01:58:32:04
Take us to him!
}
{T 01:58:32:79

}
{T 01:58:32:96
Or I'll take off the
mask and breathe
on everything!
}
{T 01:58:37:59

}
{T 01:58:39:56
You shouldn't worry
}
{T 01:58:40:79

}
{T 01:58:41:28
Our greenhouses provide
the best environment
}
{T 01:58:43:51

}
{T 01:58:44:12
Blossoming, microclimate,
peace and quiet
}
{T 01:58:46:43

}
{T 01:58:48:04
You should envy them
}
{T 01:58:49:52

}
{T 01:58:50:64
Then my dear, why do
you frolic around...
}
{T 01:58:53:71

}
{T 01:58:53:80
instead of sitting
in a plant pot?
}
{T 01:58:55:63

}
{T 01:58:55:68
Please watch your step
}
{T 01:58:57:24

}
{T 01:58:57:36
you have already
broken 3 blades of grass
}
{T 01:58:59:56

}
{T 01:58:59:68
Friend!
}
{T 01:59:01:08

}
{T 01:59:02:44
We want to ask
you something
}
{T 01:59:03:88

}
{T 01:59:04:04
No need to continue
}
{T 01:59:06:35

}
{T 01:59:06:40
No
}
{T 01:59:07:80

}
{T 01:59:08:44
Our proximity to the
Kin-dza-dza Galaxy...
}
{T 01:59:10:96

}
{T 01:59:11:80
is our greatest problem
}
{T 01:59:13:00

}
{T 01:59:13:12
They are plagued by
yearnings and desires
}
{T 01:59:15:68

}
{T 01:59:16:48
vile desires!
}
{T 01:59:18:12

}
{T 01:59:18:52
Being transformed
into plants
}
{T 01:59:21:64

}
{T 01:59:22:36
is much better for them...
}
{T 01:59:24:08

}
{T 01:59:24:64
and for everyone else!
}
{T 01:59:25:76

}
{T 01:59:26:56
Maybe we should bring
them here and ask them
}
{T 01:59:28:79

}
{T 01:59:28:88
Let them decide what's better
}
{T 01:59:31:52

}
{T 01:59:33:16
If we give that sort
the opportunity to decide
about anything...
}
{T 01:59:37:76

}
{T 01:59:39:60
Girly, are you the
smartest people around?
}
{T 01:59:42:56

}
{T 01:59:43:20
Did somebody tell you
or did you decided
it all on your own?
}
{T 01:59:47:08

}
{T 01:59:47:12
Let's not waste time
}
{T 01:59:48:68

}
{T 01:59:50:12
You are creatures
from anti-tentura
}
{T 01:59:52:24

}
{T 01:59:53:24
That means I have an
obligation to transport you...
}
{T 01:59:55:80

}
{T 01:59:56:80
to the starting
point of your journey
}
{T 01:59:59:03

}
{T 01:59:59:80
Or, we can send
you back in time...
}
{T 02:00:02:03

}
{T 02:00:02:44
to the moment when you can
choose your fate for yourselves
}
{T 02:00:06:07

}
{T 02:00:06:12
Make a decision
}
{T 02:00:07:27

}
{T 02:00:07:88
I don't understand
}
{T 02:00:08:95

}
{T 02:00:09:24
Back in time?
}
{T 02:00:10:47

}
{T 02:00:11:00
I can send you
to the past
}
{T 02:00:12:20

}
{T 02:00:12:48
Back to Pluk
}
{T 02:00:14:31

}
{T 02:00:27:36
Can you send
one of us to Earth
}
{T 02:00:29:27

}
{T 02:00:29:64
and the other
one back in time?
}
{T 02:00:32:03

}
{T 02:00:33:88
Vladimir Nickolaevich
}
{T 02:00:34:79

}
{T 02:00:35:36
No way will I let you
return to Pluk alone
}
{T 02:00:38:16

}
{T 02:00:43:40
Listen you
}
{T 02:00:44:72

}
{T 02:00:45:24
send us back in time!
}
{T 02:00:46:83

}
{T 02:00:58:04
How long was I fixing the
violin? About 50 minutes?
}
{T 02:01:01:19

}
{T 02:01:01:92
About 50
}
{T 02:01:03:44

}
{T 02:01:07:92
Brother Patsak
}
{T 02:01:09:04

}
{T 02:01:09:56
a guy with a sock
will be here soon
}
{T 02:01:10:96

}
{T 02:01:11:00
Tell him to meet
us at the etsih
}
{T 02:01:12:56

}
{T 02:01:12:96
Do you know the etsih?
}
{T 02:01:13:92

}
{T 02:01:13:96
Sure
}
{T 02:01:14:47

}
{T 02:01:15:48
Will you show us?
}
{T 02:01:16:47

}
{T 02:01:16:72
Give me something else then
}
{T 02:01:18:44

}
{T 02:01:19:08
Everybody, rest
for half an hour!
}
{T 02:01:21:23

}
{T 02:01:25:24
Thank you friends
}
{T 02:01:26:91

}
{T 02:01:42:72
Carry on playing, boys
}
{T 02:01:44:55

}
{T 02:01:57:28
Fiddler, hurry up!
}
{T 02:01:59:11

}
{T 02:02:01:20
Not again! You bitches!
}
{T 02:02:03:72

}
{T 02:02:03:96
Yep.
Now get out of there
}
{T 02:02:05:32

}
{T 02:02:05:44
Like hell!
}
{T 02:02:06:27

}
{T 02:02:07:48
It's better here
than on Alpha
}
{T 02:02:09:44

}
{T 02:02:09:56
Get them out
}
{T 02:02:11:08

}
{T 02:02:18:60
We'll have a space-transport
gizmo in a minute
}
{T 02:02:21:51

}
{T 02:02:21:96
Vladimir Nickolaevich!
}
{T 02:02:23:08

}
{T 02:02:23:32
You owe us 11,000 boxes
}
{T 02:02:25:55

}
{T 02:02:25:60
Fiddler has it
written down
}
{T 02:02:27:19

}
{T 02:02:27:24
11,020
}
{T 02:02:28:88

}
{T 02:02:29:52
I have a proposition
}
{T 02:02:30:80

}
{T 02:02:30:96
Vovka
}
{T 02:02:31:76

}
{T 02:02:31:96
We will transport together
}
{T 02:02:33:32

}
{T 02:02:33:60
right into the
supermarket
}
{T 02:02:35:00

}
{T 02:02:35:12
and after we
buy everything...
}
{T 02:02:36:71

}
{T 02:02:36:92
There is no 'after'
}
{T 02:02:37:83

}
{T 02:02:38:68
We're only going to Earth
}
{T 02:02:40:83

}
{T 02:02:42:84
Forever?
}
{T 02:02:43:56

}
{T 02:02:45:20
Forever
}
{T 02:02:45:92

}
{T 02:02:47:84
Me, on a planet where
they don't know who has to
squat in front of whom?
}
{T 02:02:51:23

}
{T 02:02:51:52
Nonsense
}
{T 02:02:52:40

}
{T 02:02:52:56
Give us the gravitsapa
and you do what you want
}
{T 02:02:54:52

}
{T 02:02:54:56
Uncle Uef, uncle Bee,
}
{T 02:02:56:12

}
{T 02:02:56:40
You will be very welcome there!
}
{T 02:02:57:72

}
{T 02:02:57:92
No, my friend
}
{T 02:02:58:96

}
{T 02:02:59:36
A society without the colour
differentiation of pants...
}
{T 02:03:02:72

}
{T 02:03:02:92
is a society without purpose
}
{T 02:03:04:51

}
{T 02:03:04:64
And without a purpose...
}
{T 02:03:06:00

}
{T 02:03:06:00
Enough with the philosophy,
he's going to appear soon
}
{T 02:03:08:96

}
{T 02:03:09:12
Make up your mind
}
{T 02:03:10:95

}
{T 02:03:11:68
Are you going with us?
}
{T 02:03:12:51

}
{T 02:03:12:80
Just give us
the gravitsapa!
}
{T 02:03:15:03

}
{T 02:03:18:20
Give it to them
}
{T 02:03:19:40

}
{T 02:03:22:48
Pity
}
{T 02:03:23:47

}
{T 02:03:33:68
So
}
{T 02:03:35:12

}
{T 02:03:35:92
We should say our farewells
}
{T 02:03:39:07

}
{T 02:03:42:48
I kind of got used to you
}
{T 02:03:44:60

}
{T 02:03:46:52
Me too
}
{T 02:03:48:16

}
{T 02:04:06:64
Well
}
{T 02:04:07:71

}
{T 02:04:07:92
Take care
}
{T 02:04:09:59

}
{T 02:04:09:88
Friends!
}
{T 02:04:11:47

}
{T 02:04:12:40
Patsaks!
}
{T 02:04:13:04

}
{T 02:04:14:64
Here is your sock
back, thank you
}
{T 02:04:16:47

}
{T 02:04:18:04
If you wish...
}
{T 02:04:19:16

}
{T 02:04:19:16
Friend!
}
{T 02:04:19:75

}
{T 02:04:20:24
What system is your gadget?
}
{T 02:04:22:76

}
{T 02:04:23:84
Might I take a look?
}
{T 02:04:26:20

}
{T 02:04:26:88
Regular system
}
{T 02:04:28:40

}
{T 02:04:28:52
You press a button
- and you're home
}
{T 02:04:31:08

}
{T 02:04:47:32
Hi
}
{T 02:04:47:67

}
{T 02:04:48:68
Hi
}
{T 02:04:49:35

}
{T 02:04:49:80
How was your day?
}
{T 02:04:50:60

}
{T 02:04:51:32
Some pipes burst at
Manokhin's building site
}
{T 02:04:55:44

}
{T 02:05:11:32
''Mother, mother, what will we do,
Mother, mother, how will we live?''
}
{T 02:05:23:52

}
{T 02:05:30:64
How's our A-student?
}
{T 02:05:31:52

}
{T 02:05:32:36
He's out with friends
}
{T 02:05:33:51

}
{T 02:05:33:92
Vovka! I forgot to buy
bread, will you go?
}
{T 02:05:36:07

}
{T 02:05:38:68
And buy some noodles!
}
{T 02:05:40:43

}
{T 02:05:58:68
Comrade
}
{T 02:05:59:48

}
{T 02:06:00:20
How could I get to
the Old Arbat street?
}
{T 02:06:01:48

}
{T 02:06:02:12
Turn right over there
}
{T 02:06:03:48

}
{T 02:06:03:56
Thank you
}
{T 02:06:05:15

}
{T 02:06:27:80
Fiddler?
}
{T 02:06:29:39

}
{T 02:06:33:84
Uncle Vova?
}
{T 02:06:35:83

}
{T 02:06:42:00
Fiddler!
}
{T 02:06:43:52

}
{T 02:06:46:16
Uncle Vova!
}
{T 02:06:47:28

}
{T 02:07:21:08
The End
}
{T 02:07:25:08

}