The only nice GELF is a Pleasure GELF which
looks like a big green blob! The rest
are all baddies.
are Genetically Engineered Life Forms and pop up in various forms
throughout Red Dwarf Saga.
are yer average dangerous-furry-monsters which
are simply known as GELFs; Polymorphs -
VERY dangerous creatures that feed
off human emotions; Emohawks the furry GELFs
pets Polymorph; and the spine chillingly wonderful Sirens
that feed off brains (usually by sticking a straw
through the ear of the doomed human victim and giving a powerful
are extremely hostile creatures. They feed off the human
psyche, they seek out the deranged, the unbalanced and the emotionally
crippled. To make things worse, they are pretty darned
ugly too! Looking like a rat with big teeth, they scurry
around looking for some unfortunate person whose emotions they
can also change shape! This of course makes it
extremely difficult to spot them! (Lister
found this out when one of them changed shape into a pair of red
underpants and then proceeded to shrink).
originated on Earth, the result of a genetic experiment that
went wrong. It was an attempt to create the ultimate
warrior, a mutant that could change its shape to deceive its enemies.
The Polymorphs therefore generally feed off people's negative
emotions, fear, anger, guilt, and paranoia. It is a
sort of emotional vampire that changes shape to provoke a negative
response from its victim and then sucks it
out of them.
look like giant cockroaches! And as if that isnt
bad enough, they have the ability to make you believe that they
are absolutely Goooorrrgious! Have you ever
slept with someone that you shouldnt have? Possibly after
night where far too much alcohol? Well the next morning you probably
looked at that unfortunate person as a Psiren (without the psychic
shroud!). The difference that person and a Psiren
is that the Psiren will suck out your brains with a straw rather
that provide a harmless, drunken evening of bonking!
(I personally find such a notion particularly distressing! - I'm
sure I once slept with a Psiren!)
attempt to alter the perceptions of their prospective victims
telepathically. They use this power of
illusion to lure their victim into their hiding place.
They may then fight with each other to see who should
enjoy the spoils of their capture!
are very difficult to kill, able to take full-on shots from a
Bazookoid with relatively minor damage.
are a good deal more humanoid that polymorphs or Psirens, and
this, in many ways, makes them even more dangerous. GELFs
are untrustworthy scavengers with no regard for life, law or property.
They skin human beings alive and turn them into beanbags.
once ventured into Furry GELF space and suffered a damaged to
an Oxygen Generation Unit. Lucky for the crew, the GELFs
they encountered (Kinitowawi) were a
little more friendly other GELF races and were able to trade Listers
libido. The GELFs had an OGU they did not want the
trinkets offered by Kryten.
Instead they wanted Lister! In fact they want
Lister to marry the chiefs elder daughter.
His prospective bride is absolutely as ugly as you can
imagine very hairy and more than a little chubby.
I particularly like the way she spoke with a deep
is persuaded to marry the furry GELF by an insistent Cat,
Kryten and Rimmer.
They hatch a plan to do a runner in the morning after the wedding.
the wedding, later that night, Lister
just cant manage to spend his honeymoon
night with the hairy-warty-eight-foot-yeti that
is his wife! He understandably runs off and the four of
them head back to Starbug.
Lister's wife complains to her father, "Hes
left me on my wedding night! Men, Theyre all bastards!"
angry father of the bride decides to set his pet Emohawk
on the crew of Red Dwarf! A just reward for such dishonourable
are dastardly little creatures. It is a Polymorph
that is spayed at birth and half domesticated by the furry GELFs.
Its trained to change shape at its owner behest.
all Polymorphs, it has the ability to steel emotions from living
creatures. Emotions are, amongst the GELFs, a
highly valued trading commodity.
all polymorphs, they are able to change shape at will, and they
feed off their victims emotions, one at a time, usually
the most negative ones first.
Rating - GELF's
(rancid butter) -
(requires paper bag) -
(big/little softy) -
(hard as nails)
Geezer Race Rating (out of 30)