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 Kryten
is one of the best loved characters of the whole saga! He is a
Series 4000 Mechanoid
model 2X4B-523P played wonderfully by the excellent actor from
Nottingham, Robert Llewellyn. The wacky
android has developed considerably since his first appearance
in episode one of season 2 where he was the attentive personal
android of three lovely (but dead) female crewmembers
on the ill-fated Nova 5.
If
you were to meet Kryten in the pub, he would be the glass clearer.
If you accidentally spilled your drink, Kryten would blame himself
and get you another. If you complained or were in anyway obnoxious,
he would accidentally spill the replacement all over you. He would
also be infuriatingly popular with the female pub-goers who would
feel a desperate urge to either mother him or checkout his ‘double
poloroid’.
 Kryten,
was rescued from deep space after being stranded on the Nova 5.
He was quickly humanised by Lister after suffering the terrible
work regime set out by the Hitler-like Rimmer. He leaves the Red
Dwarf on Lister’s beloved space-bike and promptly crashes
into an asteroid! That’s the last we saw of Kryten
during the whole of Season 2.
Kryten
has been severely influenced by Lister throughout his association
with the Red Dwarf crew. It seems that Lister
has, wherever possible tried to help Kryten break his programming
and develop a personality of his own. As a result, the Mechanoid
has become the robot with a heart, ceaslessly enthralling us with
his quirky manic temprement and considerable diplomacy despite
the huge pressure on him by his association with the social misfits
and downright nutters that are the Red Dwarf crew.
A
lot happened in the period between the end of Season 2 and the
beginning of Season 3, Holly had a sex change and Kryten was found
and rebuilt by Lister.
It was explained that the rebuild was pretty successful except
for the robot’s personality, he basically developed an Canadian
accent, grew by about 6 inches and developed the wildest robot
walk you ever saw! Sure enough, the head still looked like the
head of a large ‘novelty condom’, but
it had a less palid complexion. Since then Kryten has
become one of the best loved characters of the Red Dwarf saga.
Kryten
believes in a number of strange and wonderous things (mainly
due to his programming). He believes for instance, that he
will eventually go to Silicone Heaven, a place where the souls
of all electrical equipment congregate – ‘the
place where all the calculators go’. Kryen believes
that Silicone Heaven must exist since mechanoids NEED an afterlife
to look forward to after a lifetime (or two) serving humankind.
And yet, Kryten also believes that there is no such thing as human
heaven, "Someone just made that up to prevent you
(humans) from all going nuts!"
 Kryten
is probably most proud of his new-found ability to lie! Lister
spent many painstaking hours trying to help the robot develop
true independence, something he believed could only be
achieved with an ability to lie. Lister also tried to instil in
Kryten, the idea that he can describe Rimmer
as a ‘Smeg Head!’ This was particularly difficult for
Kryten who tries in vain to practice in front of Rimmer at every
opportunity. "Smeeeeeeeeeeg Heeeeeeead."
would be the closest he would get.
Kryten
once fell in love (believe me, once was all that was needed) with
a Chameleon called Camile, a rare type of pleasure GELF
that could change shape in the mind of whoever it was in the company
of. In reality, the creature was a big green blob – but initially,
Kryten believed it to be a more advanced Mechanoid
with particularly advanced programming. As green blobs go, the
Chamealion was a
nice green blob, but even if Kryten wanted to bonk a green blob
(and lets face it, we’ve all sex was clearly out of the question
since Kryten has no male sex organs – nor does he have the
ability to erm… orgasm. Nevertheless, it
was the old story… Droid meets Droid, Droid becomes Chameleon,
Droid looses Chameleon, Chameleon turns into Blob, Droid gets
Blob back again, Blob meets Blob, Blob goes off with Blob, and
Droid looses Blob, Chameleon and droid. "How
many times have we seen that story?"
In
the episode DNA. Kryten
was accidentally turned into a human.
Krytens’ greatest dream had become a reality! He was
overjoyed, never had he experienced such emotion, except for the
time he accidentally welded his groinal socket to a front-loading
washing machine!
 Kryten
however, soon discovered that there are a number of significant
drawbacks to being human. For a start his nipples didn’t
work (the series 4000 mechaniod is able to regulate it’s
temperature using the left nipple control and is able to pick
up short wave radio with the right). Kryten is also slightly
worried to find that his recharging socket (normally located at
the rear) is very unusual! "I have found what I assume
to be the re-charging socket, but for some strange reason, it
doesn’t appear to have the standard three pin adaption……
no matter what I do the lead just keeps falling out!"
His
groinal attachment was also NOT what he expected. And under certain
circumstances (usually when viewing particularly attractive
electrical appliances) his goinal attachment would swell
two twice it’s normal size! The dissmayed Kryten even took
a picture and showed it to Lister
(Zoe emailed me to tell me that the picture was ACTUALLY
a picture of male genitals and was presented to
Craig Charles without his prior knowledge. The gaze of surprise
on he and Listers face - is genuine!). After a particularly
wonderful conversation with Krytens three spare heads, he decides
that being a human is not all it’s cracked up to be and changes
back to a Mechanoid.
Krytens
biggest NO-NO is to kill a human bieng. It is
one of his most secure programming features. However, it is possible
to dissable Krytens guilt chips. He may not give a damn,
but he would never kill.
 Kryten
is also very close to Lister who is a sort of Mentor figure (and
the person responcible for re-building him after the space bike
crash). Kryten is always protective of Lister and continually
dotes over his every desire. All except one that is! Lister
is in love with Kochanski and Kryten sees her as a threat.
He tries I think, to control this fear, but it usually manifests
itself as intence jealousy. Kryten and Kochanski therefore have
a friendly loathing for each other. In seasons 7 and 8 Kryten
is frightened that Lister
and Kochanski will re-affirm
their affections to one-another and that Kryten will be left ‘out
in the cold’.
Robert Llewellyn made three appearances in Red Dwarf without playing a robot. He played Jim Reaper in The Last Day, Bongo in Dimension Jump and appeared as a human Kryten in DNA.
Chris
emailed me to say that Kryten’s character was inspired by
the book, The Admirable Criten.
Graphics and Sound files are in FREEStuff
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RED DWARF
