Babylon 5 is almost as good as sex.

Although you are not a Babylon 5 addict, you are aspiring to attain MANIC ACADEMIC BABYLON 5 FANATIC status.

You have seen most of the Babylon 5 episodes but you are a little embarrassed at not having seen them from the start. You blame your mother for this oversight.

Almost nothing will interrupt your enjoyment of an episode as it is being aired on TV.

You have videotaped each episode from either season two or three.

You are NOT as completely aware of the ‘story arc’ as you like to think and you regularly misinterpret the storyline. This happens subconsciously and, strangely, this contributes overall to your enjoyment of the show. Unfortunately, because of this, you do not get on with other Sad Geezers whom you believe are BABYLON 5 TWERPS.

You do not like to admit this, but you will argue for hours on insignificant details of the series, in some cases making it up as you go along, in the hope that you will win the argument.

Your partner and friends are pissed off at your continual references to each episode and none of them watch the series as a result. This really upsets you – after all, how can any serious friend NOT watch Babylon 5?

The next best thing to sex as far as you are concerned is NOT watching a Babylon 5 episode, but TALKING about a Babylon 5 episode. This is extremely stimulating (unless of course, you are talking to another Sad Geezer).

Sad Geezers are terrific lovers.

You are modest.

A Babylon 5 Sad Geezers partner does not watch the show, is not interested in it, and even attempts to wind you up about it. Nevertheless, he/she will always be yours because you are so good in bed.

You are obviously attractive to members of the opposite sex who continually hound you with offers of friendship and love. You dismiss these because you always have a partner and because you are an all round ‘good person’, after all, why should you spread it around when you can lay it on thick?

You are a social animal, everyone likes you and, although you enjoy talking about Babylon 5 to people who don’t want to listen, this is seen as a quirky and entertaining characteristic of your personality.

For reasons that you are not quite able to fathom, children get on with you better than you get on with them.

It should be pointed out that these conclusions should only be taken seriously if they are correct!