You go to parties to eat.

When you/your wife gave birth to twins you wondered who the other man was.

You think the Alliance Police are cool.

You have never seen a whole episode of Firefly .

You are only on this web site because the girl/boy you fancy is currently seeing a Firefly SadGeezer.

You are probably a reporter for the Daily Mail newspaper.

FIREFLY TWERPS are normally very scary people. You look at people with a hanged-dog expression and never stop talking about yourself.

The only culture you have is bacteria!

You love defenceless animals, especially with a nice drop of gravy.

You don’t have a photographic memory because you don’t have any film!

You used to have an open mind, but your brains kept falling out.

If you could play a walk on part in the show it would be as Inara’s curtains.

You think that foreplay is thirty minutes of begging.

People feel sorry for you but this is just because they don’t know you.

People who know you hate you.

You are sex mad because you don’t get any.

You think that an innuendo is an Italian suppository.

You would never willingly have a conversation with a Manic Academic Firefly Fanatic because they frighten you.

You think for hours trying to work out the speed of dark!

You think that ‘laughing stock’ are cattle with a sense of humour.

You put stamps on faxes.

You are upset at reading this though secretly you think this analysis is conservative.

You should trust in the all-seeing eye of Dr Sad Geezer and GET A LIFE – Watch some Firefly!