LEXX: S03E05: Gondola

Well, after last week’s episode I didn’t really think that there could be many more twists to the story! But as you will see – there are! If you remember, Kai, Kai2, Xev, Bunny and Stanley are in a Moth pursuing Fifi and the Duke. Unfortunately the other Moths manned by Duke’s men are also hotly pursuing them. To make things even hotter, they are headed for the Fire planet. And hotter STILL is the fact that Kai (the live one) is wearing a short blue dress! (But thankfully the wild air turbulence outside the little Moth doesn’t cause any embarrassing moments).

The two Kai’s manage to destroy the other Moths (poor little things) but their own craft sustains a number of direct hits and is doomed to crash. Stanley complains that they will all be killed, but Kai replies calmly, “Stanley is right, the Moth will crash and you will all die.” {49Kb wav file}

Fifi and the Duke also have some difficulty and crash some distance away from the others.

Night is drawing in and there is also a storm brewing. They need food and shelte but the Duke elects to stay where he is. Fifi notices a city in the distance, “Why don’t we go there?” he asks.

“That city is called Girltown,” replies Duke, “it’s the only city on this planet where they might not kill us. But I don’t think that YOU would be very happy there.”

Fifi insists but the Duke points out that to get to the city they will have to cross the ‘Red Hot Sea’ (a red-hot sea). He then goes on to tell Fifi that they will probably be dead from the heat in an hour anyway. one particular comment that puzzled Fifi (and the rest of us) was that Fifi’s torment would begin after the heat had killed him. (It maybe that he is doomed to be reincarnated on the planet Fire and set to work on the Bellows with the strange, hoopy orange people).

Meanwhile the others spot an unusual shape in the distance and they head towards it. Kai gives Bunny a piggyback ride (aww, how sweet). When they reach the object, they find it is a vessel (called a Gondola – as seen in the first episodes, flown by Prince’s men). Kai informs the others that there is some fuel left and they attempt to get it airworthy.

Duke tells a very warm looking Fifi that his next life will be much worse than the one he is currently living. “… you found me, and we will die together, and you will be mine …. Forever.” He adds (????!)

The others have managed to get the Gondola into the air but it carrying too much weight and Kai (the dead dude) decides that he can catch them up by following on foot (wadda guy!). In the cooler air of the Gondola, Kai2 is asked why he looks like the original Kai. Kai2 however is being VERY cryptic (and quite right too, the geezer is wearing a very fetching blue dress and long black hair). “He is dead, whereas I, am quite alive.” He says as he snuggles up to Xev.

Suddenly they hear a voice from below. The Gondola has passed over Fifi and Duke and Fifi shouts excitedly for them to stop and allow he and Duke to come aboard. Kai2 seems very interested in letting them aboard, Stanley is certainly NOT interested and Bunny has no opinion. Fifi concocts some cock-and-bull story about he and Duke not being anything to do with the Moth attack and that they crash-landed while trying to escape in the storm.

The others listen, apparently wanting to believe him, when suddenly Bunny shouts down, “Hi Fifi.” Then she excitedly turns to Stanley and says with a big warm smile, “That’s Fifi, he’s the one who stole your Moths.”

Fifi looks more than a little distressed and tries to appeal to their better nature. He even begs. Bunny and Xev don’t feel happy about leaving them and, against Stanley’s better judgment, Kai2 lowers the Gondola and Fifi and Duke are picked up.

As Fifi and the Duke board the Gondola, Duke looks up at Kai2 and recognises him. “You?” He says.

“Me” replies Kai2.

Fifi is very pleased to be rescued and warmly thanks and hugs Kai2. He notices Kai’s little blue dress, sandals and copper bracelet (not to mention the long curls of black hair) and says, “You’re looking …. better, guy.”

Unfortunately there are too many people aboard the Gondola and it starts to sink lower and lower. Kai2 picks up his bow and arrow and, while the others discuss what to do, the Duke stands on the edge and holds out his arms. Kai2 shoots the Duke and before he falls to the ground he smiles saying to Kai2, “there will be a next time.”

“There always is.” He answers. (So the Duke knew Kai2?). The dead Kai is following the Gondola from a distance and notices one of the occupants drop out. He is too far away to see who it is.

Later, as the sun is about to set, the group discuss death (as you do). Fifi is intrigued to find out about how people on the Fire planet are born. As we already know, the people of Fire and Water are not born but erm… come into existence by erm… waking up (?). Xev and Stanley want to know why they are not born, but Bunny and Fifi do not understand the concept of birth, “What’s born?” Fifi asks. Xev and Stanley try to explain, but Fifi and Bunny don’t even know what a ‘mother’ is. They were never children and they have always been the same size.

Xev suddenly notices that the Gondola is sinking again. There is a heated argument concerning who should be thrown over the side. Stanley tries to tell them that it should be Fifi. Fifi strenuously objects – Bunny is quite disturbed by the discussion and, as if to stop everyone being nasty, the poor sweet Bunny volunteers to throw herself off the side (aww she’s is soooo considerate). Things are made worse when the rest of the crew decide that Fifi is the one and try to throw him over the side. Fifi grimly clings onto the edge of the Gondola.

Fifi gets a reprieve when the wind picks up and the gondola begins to rise. He straps himself in tightly, just in case any of them change their minds. Later, as the night draws in, they try to get some sleep and Kai2 keeps watch. He promises Stanley not to take his eyes off Fifi. Bunny cuddles up to the old dude and in the quiet of the softly floating Gondola, they fall asleep.

All except Fifi. He moves over to talk to the geezer with the long black hair and pretty blue dress. He tries to persuade him Kai2 to go and be erm… intimate with Xev. Kai2 simply explains that he is on watch. Then Fifi asks about the incident when Kai2 shot the Duke, he noticed that ‘there was something going on’ (i.e. that they knew each other).

Kai2 confronts Fifi by accusing him of being selfish and self centred. Then surprisingly, he tries to come to some arrangement, “Will you make a deal with me?” says the geezer with long shiny black hair and a short blue dress.

As the Gondola flies over the Red Hot Sea, Kai2 moves over to Xev and wakes her. He tells her that wants to be close to her and she asks, “Are you alive?” Kai2 responds by taking her hand and placing it between his legs (!!!) “Do you want me?” he asks. “Yes” is Xev’s rather predictable answer. “Then I am yours” he says lustily and begins to take off his dress.

Suddenly there is a scream and we see Fifi landing over the side watching the poor beautiful sweet bunny crashing to her death in the Red Hot Sea. It seems as though Fifi had pushed her over the side. Fifi tried to explain that she pushed herself over the side, “It was something she had wanted to do for a while now.”

The wind changes direction again and they head toward a small group of cities in the distance. As they near one, arrows are fired from the battlements and the balloon is punctured. The Gondola begins to sink but they are able to spear themselves on a defensive spike sticking out from the wall of the city.

The Gondola’s crew evacuate quickly before the stricken ship falls hundreds of feet to the ground. Xev volunteers to climb the wall and get help (?! – from the nice men that were shooting at her??). It is too hot for the others to climb and she leaves, alone. Meanwhile, Stanley learns of Fifi and Kai2’s ‘deal’. He is told that Kai2 looks like Kai2 because he wants too. Worse still it turns out that Kai2 is actually the Prince! (I guess you may have picked up some of the clues, but even so, it was still a real twist!)

“Prince who?” Asks Stanley with a VERY worried expression. Stanley is edged further and further towards the end of the spike. He shouts out in despair. Xev hears him and curls up into a ball and rolls back down the wall. “The real pain will come after your death.” Say’s Prince. “I’m good with pain.”

Xev arrives on the scene and Stanley manages to knock Fifi off the spike and Prince is unbalanced and hangs precariously over the edge, Stan explains that he is Prince and that he only pretended to be Kai.

Prince looks up at Xev desperately, “Don’t believe him Xev.” He pleads.

“But I do believe him.” Xev says as she kicks him off the edge. “The real Kai would have been a better kisser.”  And with insult added to his already vicious injury, Prince falls to his death.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. I thank you like I have never thanked you before.” Says Stanley thankfully.

Xev looks at him closely, “Are you the real Stan?” She asks. (I couldn’t tell if she was joking or serious).

“What?” questions Stanley, “Do you want to kiss me and find out?” He adds. Xev kisses him on the cheek and agrees that Stanley is Stanley. Then the show ends with a shot of Kai walking slowly but steadily towards the city.

Another wonderful show, it was a shame that Bunny died, but maybe, hopefully, she will be reincarnated (but not as Kai I hope). I guess that Prince is most certainly an enemy now. I think he has lost interest in trying to get Stanley to use the LEXX to destroy the Water planet and now has to act more defensively.

This was a cool episode and rates a decent 32,434. What do you think?

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This episode review is © 1999-2019 Tony Fawl.
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