You think Marvin is a great kisser

You go to parties to eat

When you/your wife gave birth to twins you wondered who the other man was.

You think Arthur Dent is cool.

You are not exactly cheap – but you are on ‘special’ this week..

You have never seen a whole episode of Hitch Hikers.

You are only on this web site because the girl/boy you fancy is currently seeing a Hitch Hikers SAD GEEZER.

You are probably a reporter for the Daily Mail newspaper.

Hitch Hikers TWERPS are very scary people. You look at people with a hanged-dog expression and never stop talking about yourself.

The only culture you have is bacteria!

You love defensless animals, especially with a nice drop of gravey.

You don’t have a photographic memory because you don’t have any film!

You have been fired from at least one job for pilfering cream cakes.

You used to have an open mind, but your brains kept falling out.

If you could play a walk on part in the show it would be as a Bable Fish

You think that foreplay is thirty minutes of begging.

Many people feel sorry for you but this is just because they don’t know you.

People who know you hate you.

You are sex mad because you don’t get any.

You couldn’t repair your brakes so you make your horn louder!.

You think that an innuendo is an Italian suppository

You think for hours trying to work out the speed of dark!

You think that ‘laughing stock’ are cattle with a sense of humor..

You put stamps on faxes

You are upset at reading this though secretly you think this analysis is conservative.

You should trust in the all-seeing eye of Dr Sad Geezer and GET A LIFE – Watch some Hitch Hikers!

It should be pointed out that these conclusions
should only be taken seriously if they are correct!