You believe that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

You have seen most of the Hitch Hikers episodes but you are a little embarrassed at not having seen them from the start. You blame your mother for this oversight.

A friend you fancy came round to visit you recently. They left immediately after you put on an video of Hitch Hikers.

You don’t have good manners but you do have good reflexes.

You believe that dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

You believe that inbreeding can only be prevented by banning country music.

If you could play a small part in the show it would be a bedroom scene with Trillian/Zaphod

You believe that a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste

You are NOT as completely aware of the story as you like to think, and you regularly misinterpret the storyline. This happens subconsciously and, strangely, this contributes overall to your enjoyment of the show.

Unfortunately, because of this, you do not get on with other Sad Geezers whom you believe are Hitch Hiker TWERPS.

You do not like to admit this, but you will argue for hours on insignificant details of the shows, in some cases making it up as you go along, in the hope that you will win the argument.

You believe that sex on television is only dangerous if you fall off!

People like you a lot – but they wouldn’t want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.

You never waste time because you’re always wasted!

Your partner and friends are pissed off at your continual references to each episode and none of them watch the series as a result. This really upsets you – after all, how can any serious friend NOT watch Hitch Hikers?

Smiling is the second best thing you do with your lips.

Sad Geezers are terrific lovers.

You are modest.

A Hitch Hikers Sad Geezers partner does not watch the show, is not interested in it, and even attempts to wind you up about it. Nevertheless, he/she will always be yours because you are so good in bed.

You are obviously attractive to members of the opposite sex who continually hound you with offers of friendship and love. You dismiss these because you always have a partner and because you are an all round ‘good person’, after all, why should you spread it around when you can lay it on thick?

You once said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen!

You are a social animal, everyone likes you and, although you enjoy talking about Hitch Hikers to people who don’t want to listen, this is seen as a quirky and entertaining characteristic of your personality.

For reasons that you are not quite able to fathom, children get on with you better than you get on with them.

It should be pointed out that these conclusions
should only be taken seriously if they are correct!