Hitch Hikers guide to the Galaxy is better than sex.

You are addicted to Hitch Hikers. It is my personal opinion that you are a hopeless case.

You believe that god made stupid people because there are so many.

Hitch Hikers TWERPS are a source of cruel amusement to you.

You will not admit this in public, but you have also secretly written your own Hitch Hikers episode(s) and are currently plucking up the courage to submit them to the Very Reverend Douglas Adams.

Rainy days and automatic weapons get you down.

You believe that the gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Sexually, you are somewhat insecure, preferring the purer more romantic relationships of the series, to the tacky reality of everyday love and sex.

You find that it is lonely at the top, but you eat better.

You like to call feminists ‘cute’.

You are either celibate or a committed family man/woman.

You would be faithful to one partner and have not necessarily fantasised about making love with any of the more attractive Hitch Hikers characters.

If you had a walk on part you would want to play a Magrathean.

You are highly intelligent but a bit stupid when it comes to common sense.

You drive far too fast to worry about cholesterol.

People like you, but they think you’re a bit of a Geek.

If you worked as much as others, you would do as little as they did.

You have a good career but you do not own a large house or flash car.

Other Hitch Hikers fans look up to you.

You are a mine of information and you should be careful not to become the ‘party bore’ or patronising.

Hitch Hikers SAD GEEZERS admire your commitment although you secretly admire their social skills and in particular, the way members of the opposite sex are all over them.

You have recently sent an email message to Douglas Adams reporting an inconsistency in one of the episodes. (He told you to piss off).

Some people call you Slartibartfast – this really annoys you.

It should be pointed out that these conclusions
should only be taken seriously if they are correct!