LEXX is better than sex because you have never had sex

You think Stanley Tweedle is a great kisser

You go to parties to eat

When you/your wife gave birth to twins you wondered who the other man was.

You think Stanley Tweedle is cool.

You have never seen a whole episode of LEXX.

You are only on this web site because the girl/boy you fancy is currently seeing a LEXX SAD GEEZER/LADY SADGEEZER .

You are probably a reporter for the Daily Mail newspaper.

You think LEXX Twerps are very scary people.

You look at people with a hanged-dog expression and never stop talking about yourself.

You like Big Wist better than Little Wist

You think Bog is more attractive than Stanley and Giggerota is more attractive than Wist.

You don’t know what a Wist is

You have been fired from at least one job for pilfering cream cakes.

You are as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.

If you could play a walk on part in the show it would be as a Klaagian

You think that foreplay is thirty minutes of begging.

Many people feel sorry for you but this is just because they don’t know you.

People who know you hate you.

You are sex mad because you don’t get any.

Your wife or husband probably ran off with the milkman.

You think that an innuendo is an Italian suppository

You realise that this could all change if you simply watched more LEXX but you lack the concentration and commitment preferring instead to watch football or re-runs of Hogans Heroes.

You put stamps on faxes

You are upset at reading this though secretly you think this analysis is conservative.

GET A LIFE – Watch some LEXX!