| Red Dwarf is almost as good as sex.
Although you are not a Red Dwarf addict, you are aspiring to attain MANIC ACADEMIC RED DWARF FANATIC status.
You have seen most of the Red Dwarf episodes but you are a little embarrassed at not having seen them from the start. You blame your mother for this oversight.
 Almost nothing will interrupt your enjoyment of an episode as it is being aired on TV.
You have between 5 and 10 episodes on videotape.
You are NOT as completely aware of the plot as you like to think and you regularly misinterpret the storyline. This happens regularly and, strangely, this contributes overall to your enjoyment of the show.
Unfortunately, because of this, you do not get on with other Sad Geezers whom you believe are RED DWARF TWERPS.
You do not like to admit this, but you will argue for hours on insignificant details of the episodes, in some cases making it up as you go along, in the hope that you will win the argument.
Your partner and friends are pissed off at your continual references to each episode and none of them watch the series as a result. This really upsets you – after all, how can any serious friend NOT watch Red Dwarf?
The next best thing to sex as far as you are concerned is NOT watching a Red Dwarf episode, but TALKING about it. This is extremely stimulating (unless of course, you are talking to another Sad Geezer).
Sad Geezers are terrific lovers.
You are modest.
A Sad Geezers partner does not watch Red Dwarf, is not interested in it, and even attempts to wind you up about it. Nevertheless, he/she will always be yours because you are so good in bed.
You are obviously attractive to members of the opposite sex who continually hound you with offers of friendship and love. You dismiss these because you always have a partner and because you are an all round ‘good person’, after all, why should you spread it around when you can lay it on thick?
You are a social animal, everyone likes you and, although you enjoy talking about Red Dwarf to people who don’t want to listen, this is seen as a quirky and entertaining characteristic of your personality.
For reasons that you are not quite able to fathom, children get on with you better than you get on with them |